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Band 7

The best way to improve children’s life is fathers and mothers attending course for parenting and child development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children’s #life #fathers #mothers #course #child #development
Nowadays, having a parenting class is an increasingly popular way for
parents
 to gain knowledge to improve their
children
's lives. I personally agree in
this
 regard, as parenting skills play a significant role in
child
development
.
Firstly
, attending parenting and
child
development
courses
 can provide up-to-date knowledge on effective
child
development
, which can lead to better communication and stronger relationships between
children
 and their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
. It is commonly believed that parental education can increase awareness of
children
's emotional and psychological needs.
Additionally
, by attending the
courses
,
parents
 can learn about the importance
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
child
development
.
For instance
, they may understand how to foster creativity,
develop
Correct word choice
and develop
show examples
 problem-solving, and social skills in
children
. Learning these aspects helps
parents
 engage in more meaningful play activities, which support cognitive, emotional, and physical growth throughout their childhood.
Secondly
, parenting
courses
 can help
parents
 handle challenges more effectively,
such
 as managing tantrums or understanding teenage behaviour. With guidance from experts,
parents
 can adopt positive discipline strategies and develop patience, which leads to a more supportive, resilient home environment.
For example
, a parent who understands positive reinforcement can encourage good behaviour without resorting to punishment, thereby fostering trust, open communication, and a nurturing atmosphere for
children
 to thrive in. In conclusion, parenting and
child
development
courses
 equip
parents
 with essential skills and knowledge that positively impact
children
’s emotional, social, and cognitive
development
.
Therefore
, I believe attending these
courses
 is one of the most effective ways for
parents
 to improve their
children
's quality of life and
overall
 potential.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
Consider expanding on the second point with a specific course or expert as an example to enhance your argument.
task achievement
Try to diversify the vocabulary even further for a more engaging essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly presents the writer's perspective and sets the stage for the essay.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph has a clear central idea and flows logically from one to the next.
task achievement
You provided specific examples about positive reinforcement and specific skills, which make the argument more compelling.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • parenting skills
  • child development
  • up-to-date knowledge
  • effective child-rearing techniques
  • positive disciplinary methods
  • emotional and psychological needs
  • cognitive development
  • timely intervention
  • professional support
  • financial constraints
  • familial knowledge
  • community support
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