IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehical will be passenger. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

#future #cars #buses #trucks #driverless #people #passenger #vehicles
It is thought by a selection of individuals that all vehicles
such
 as cars, buses and trucks will be
driverless
 and users will become only passengers
while
 travelling to their destinations. From my perspective, I strongly agree with
this
 notion and
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
 will be outlined in the following paragraphs before reaching my conclusion.
To begin
 with, there are several merits that
driverless
 vehicles offer to the population and one of the most significant is that people will have more
time
. To elaborate
further
, individuals do not need to focus on driving during their commute.
Moreover
, they can spend their quality and precious
time
 working or relaxing.
For example
, my friend living in America already had several opportunities to try
driverless
 car services, and he told me that it had given a
number
 of benefits to him and
therefore
 he could spend his
time
 doing unfinished tasks, watching entertainment or resting.
Additionally
, another clear upside of
driverless
 vehicles is our society will be safer as the
number
 of
accidents
 will dramatically decrease. To explain in greater detail,
due to
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
advancement of technology, many useful techs
such
 as motion sensors, camera recorders, navigation systems, etc have been invented which can be able to protect
accidents
Change preposition
against accidents
show examples
 directly.
Furthermore
, there will be no more drunk drivers which used to cause a lot of damage and negative effects to our communities.
For instance
, some research that I read
last
 month said that if those productive safety systems are fully developed, it will plummet the
number
 of car
accidents
 on the road by 90%, specifically, the
accidents
 caused by drunk driving will go down to a meagre 2% of total
accidents
 of the world.
Overall
, it is a fact that
driverless
 cars will provide only positive effects to our society. In my opinion, their advantages totally outweigh
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
 as citizens will have more
time
 to do their work, relax and kick back.
In addition
, the
number
 of car crashes in our world will nosedive remarkably.
Submitted by nnatthinee on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay covers all the main points, but consider expanding on the disadvantages briefly for a more balanced view. Even if you ultimately believe the advantages outweigh them, acknowledging and addressing counterarguments can strengthen your position.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is generally good, but there is room for improvement. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next for better flow.
coherence cohesion
To further enhance clarity, try to avoid repetition of certain phrases. For example, 'driverless' and 'time' are used multiple times; synonyms and varied sentence structures can add more depth.
task achievement
The examples provided, especially the anecdote about your friend and the research study, are highly relevant and specific, bolstering your argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which nicely frame your essay and help drive your points home.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • autonomous
  • driverless
  • human error
  • congestion
  • mobility
  • independence
  • energy-efficient
  • pollution
  • fossil fuel
  • economic impact
  • infrastructure
  • maintenance
  • insurance
  • psychological benefits
  • hacking
  • data privacy
  • ethical programming
What to do next:
Look at other essays: