IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehical will be passenger. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

#future #cars #buses #trucks #driverless #people #passenger #vehicles
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It is thought by a selection of individuals that all vehicles
such
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 as cars, buses and trucks will be
driverless
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 and users will become only passengers
while
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 travelling to their destinations. From my perspective, I strongly agree with
this
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 notion and
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
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 will be outlined in the following paragraphs before reaching my conclusion.
To begin
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 with, there are several merits that
driverless
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 vehicles offer to the population and one of the most significant is that people will have more
time
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. To elaborate
further
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, individuals do not need to focus on driving during their commute.
Moreover
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, they can spend their quality and precious
time
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 working or relaxing.
For example
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, my friend living in America already had several opportunities to try
driverless
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 car services, and he told me that it had given a
number
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 of benefits to him and
therefore
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 he could spend his
time
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 doing unfinished tasks, watching entertainment or resting.
Additionally
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, another clear upside of
driverless
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 vehicles is our society will be safer as the
number
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 of
accidents
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 will dramatically decrease. To explain in greater detail,
due to
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an
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apply
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advancement of technology, many useful techs
such
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 as motion sensors, camera recorders, navigation systems, etc have been invented which can be able to protect
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accidents
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against accidents
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 directly.
Furthermore
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, there will be no more drunk drivers which used to cause a lot of damage and negative effects to our communities.
For instance
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, some research that I read
last
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 month said that if those productive safety systems are fully developed, it will plummet the
number
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 of car
accidents
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 on the road by 90%, specifically, the
accidents
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 caused by drunk driving will go down to a meagre 2% of total
accidents
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 of the world.
Overall
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, it is a fact that
driverless
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 cars will provide only positive effects to our society. In my opinion, their advantages totally outweigh
disadvantages
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the disadvantages
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 as citizens will have more
time
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 to do their work, relax and kick back.
In addition
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, the
number
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 of car crashes in our world will nosedive remarkably.
Submitted by nnatthinee on

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task achievement
Your essay covers all the main points, but consider expanding on the disadvantages briefly for a more balanced view. Even if you ultimately believe the advantages outweigh them, acknowledging and addressing counterarguments can strengthen your position.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is generally good, but there is room for improvement. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next for better flow.
coherence cohesion
To further enhance clarity, try to avoid repetition of certain phrases. For example, 'driverless' and 'time' are used multiple times; synonyms and varied sentence structures can add more depth.
task achievement
The examples provided, especially the anecdote about your friend and the research study, are highly relevant and specific, bolstering your argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which nicely frame your essay and help drive your points home.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • autonomous
  • driverless
  • human error
  • congestion
  • mobility
  • independence
  • energy-efficient
  • pollution
  • fossil fuel
  • economic impact
  • infrastructure
  • maintenance
  • insurance
  • psychological benefits
  • hacking
  • data privacy
  • ethical programming
What to do next:
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