There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Students face study stress
due to
Linking Words
an increase in competition. Certain people believe that non-academic
subjects
Use synonyms
can be excavated from the school syllabus. I argue with the statement. I concur with the prior that education should be holistic and science, maths and law are equally important as art, drama and sports. To commence with, there is no denying that major
subjects
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as physics, chemistry, biology and maths have played an integral role in the young generation. life These are major pillars of future studies or higher education and good knowledge and understanding of these is beneficial for future jobs.
For instance
Linking Words
, lucrative employment always hires a good student in terms of academic knowledge
such
Linking Words
as Doctors and engineers are highly paid professions.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is invaluable for youngsters to become all-rounded as it is essential for individuals to have a harmonious balance between extracurriculars and academics.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, schools are the first place where a person can learn and acquire different life skills.
Therefore
Linking Words
, skills like time management, stress handling, and working in a team should be taught.
As a result
Linking Words
, adolescents can work more efficiently in the community.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
subjects
Use synonyms
like art, drama, food making and music should
also
Linking Words
be delivered at schools. In
this
Linking Words
way, students will be creative and feel relaxed as it divides the burden of major
subjects
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
the academic subject has an evident impact on a person's development in the academic arena.
However
Linking Words
, like skills are equally important for surviving in society without any stumbling blocks it is better to create a balance.
Submitted by seharfazal9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

logical structure
Try to ensure smoother transitions between ideas; this will improve the logical flow of the essay.
complete response
Address the opposing viewpoint more thoroughly to create a balanced argument.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate more specific and detailed examples to strengthen your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
Both the introduction and conclusion are present and provide a good framework for the essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
The ideas presented are clear, and the main points are easy to understand.
supported main points
Most main points are supported, though some could benefit from more specific examples.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pressure
  • succeed
  • academically
  • non-academic
  • physical education
  • cookery
  • school syllabus
  • concentrate
  • academic work
  • well-rounded
  • enhancement
  • practical skills
  • balanced education system
What to do next:
Look at other essays: