some people think that money makes a life a comfortable others think that a large amount of money brings more trouble. do you think advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

#people #money #life #amount #trouble #outweigh

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is often argued whether

money

Use synonyms

is an essential factor in making

life

Use synonyms

more comfortable. Some claim that having a huge amount of

money

Use synonyms

is crucial for a better living

whereas

Linking Words

others are firm in their belief that

this

Linking Words

brings several issues. Personally, I am a proponent of the view that the advantages of

this

Linking Words

exceed the disadvantages. in

this

Linking Words

essay, I am going to elucidate both the benefits and drawbacks of

this

Linking Words

One

Use synonyms

of the most obvious benefits of having a huge amount of

money

Use synonyms

is that it ensures

people

Use synonyms

acquire the quality of education.

For example

Linking Words

, the wealthy are able to study in high-ranked universities like Yale University thanks to

money

Use synonyms

, allowing them to reach their best knowledge.

Further

Linking Words

, having a fortune is undoubtedly essential for maintaining

one

Use synonyms

overall

Linking Words

well-being. Wealthy

people

Use synonyms

are able to consume healthy , expensive food which contains high levels of minerals, decreasing the risks of facing health problems.

Finally

Linking Words

, wealthy

people

Use synonyms

can travel to various places.

One

Use synonyms

study conducted at Nazaarbaev University proves that individuals who travel frequently face less stress, proving that having

money

Use synonyms

is crucial for stress management .

Thus

Linking Words

, being wealthy makes

life

Use synonyms

much more convenient.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, it is significant to recognize that being a prosperous person may have certain drawbacks.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the majority of affluent

people

Use synonyms

lacking control over

money

Use synonyms

are known to commence bad habits

such

Linking Words

as the usage of drugs and extensive rate of alcohol consumption.A good example of

this

Linking Words

is Macaulay Culkin who became wealthy after acting in several films.

However

Linking Words

, his career ended because of drug addiction.

This

Linking Words

example proves that having a huge degree of

money

Use synonyms

can destroy

one

Use synonyms

life

Use synonyms

owing to low

money

Use synonyms

management skills .

In addition

Linking Words

, it is widely accepted that rich

people

Use synonyms

are surrounded by fake friends. Noticing

this

Linking Words

fact may cause emotional trauma to the wealthy.

Consequently

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

may lead to psychological problems. In conclusion,

Although

Linking Words

it seems that being a prosperous person may cause issues

due to

Linking Words

a lack of control over

money

Use synonyms

, I strongly believe that

money

Use synonyms

is the most important factor in creating a convenient

life

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

benefits of being rich overshadow the drawbacks.

However

Linking Words

,it is recommended that wealthy individuals should improve their

money

Use synonyms

management skills

Submitted by pandatvin3 on Fri Nov 01 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Try to connect your ideas more smoothly with linking phrases to improve the logical structure.

coherence cohesion

Ensure topic sentences clearly introduce the main idea of each paragraph.

task achievement

Double-check for any minor grammar mistakes or word choices that might not be the best fit.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which enhances understanding.

task achievement

You provided specific examples to support your main points, which strengthens your argument.

task achievement

You have thoroughly addressed both sides of the argument, showing a balanced view.

16
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

371 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetable. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
In this modern era, some urbans repurpose parks as well as open spaces into gardens which allow the local residents to grow fruit or vegetable. This writer believes that the advantages of the connection of people during community activities and encourage consuming healthy outweigh the drawback of fertilizers and toxic during planting fruit to the environment.
<4
band
In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Medical services should be provided totally free from authorities.Although it may be helpful for low-income families,I believe that people have to take responsibility for paying their medical care despite of the contribution from the government.
4.5
band
the type of media that people of differnt age groups used to get daily newsw in one country in 2011
The given bar chart compares the usage of three different media that were chosen by people to get annual news in the same country during 2011.
4.5
band
Some people think that there's nothing we can learn from history previous characters,while on the other hand,some of them believe that there is a lot that we can learn from history,such as avoiding the mistakes that people before made. In this article, I will be discussing both views.
People who believe that we cannot learn from history see that the problems that people faced in the past are completely different from the problems that people face now. And they also think that the mentality and the way of thinking of man has changed over the years. In the end,this is a point of view,and it may be right or wrong. But the important thing is that many people agree with this opinion.
5
band
Some people think that manufacturers and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged products while others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.
It is contentious that commercial markets and manufacturing facifilities should cut back on the products with packaging, whilst some presume that each customer should be responsible for buying less that sort of products dut to urgently environmental issues such soil erosion and water contamination. This author partly holds a belief that this contributes mainly to shopping facilities which are the key production of goods as well as their pivotal roles in atracting people to buy less packaged ones.

some people think that money makes a life a comfortable others think that a large amount of money brings more trouble. do you think advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetable. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

the type of media that people of differnt age groups used to get daily newsw in one country in 2011

Some people think that there's nothing we can learn from history previous characters,while on the other hand,some of them believe that there is a lot that we can learn from history,such as avoiding the mistakes that people before made. In this article, I will be discussing both views.

Some people think that manufacturers and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged products while others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.