some people think that money makes a life a comfortable others think that a large amount of money brings more trouble. do you think advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

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It is often argued whether

money

Use synonyms

is an essential factor in making

life

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more comfortable. Some claim that having a huge amount of

money

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is crucial for a better living

whereas

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others are firm in their belief that

this

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brings several issues. Personally, I am a proponent of the view that the advantages of

this

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exceed the disadvantages. in

this

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essay, I am going to elucidate both the benefits and drawbacks of

this

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One

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of the most obvious benefits of having a huge amount of

money

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is that it ensures

people

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acquire the quality of education.

For example

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, the wealthy are able to study in high-ranked universities like Yale University thanks to

money

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, allowing them to reach their best knowledge.

Further

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, having a fortune is undoubtedly essential for maintaining

one

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overall

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well-being. Wealthy

people

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are able to consume healthy , expensive food which contains high levels of minerals, decreasing the risks of facing health problems.

Finally

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, wealthy

people

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can travel to various places.

One

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study conducted at Nazaarbaev University proves that individuals who travel frequently face less stress, proving that having

money

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is crucial for stress management .

Thus

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, being wealthy makes

life

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much more convenient.

Nevertheless

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, it is significant to recognize that being a prosperous person may have certain drawbacks.

To begin

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with, the majority of affluent

people

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lacking control over

money

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are known to commence bad habits

such

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as the usage of drugs and extensive rate of alcohol consumption.A good example of

this

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is Macaulay Culkin who became wealthy after acting in several films.

However

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, his career ended because of drug addiction.

This

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example proves that having a huge degree of

money

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can destroy

one

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life

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owing to low

money

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management skills .

In addition

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, it is widely accepted that rich

people

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are surrounded by fake friends. Noticing

this

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fact may cause emotional trauma to the wealthy.

Consequently

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this

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may lead to psychological problems. In conclusion,

Although

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it seems that being a prosperous person may cause issues

due to

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a lack of control over

money

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, I strongly believe that

money

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is the most important factor in creating a convenient

life

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Therefore

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benefits of being rich overshadow the drawbacks.

However

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,it is recommended that wealthy individuals should improve their

money

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management skills

pandatvin3Fri Nov 01 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to connect your ideas more smoothly with linking phrases to improve the logical structure.

coherence cohesion

Ensure topic sentences clearly introduce the main idea of each paragraph.

task achievement

Double-check for any minor grammar mistakes or word choices that might not be the best fit.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which enhances understanding.

task achievement

You provided specific examples to support your main points, which strengthens your argument.

task achievement

You have thoroughly addressed both sides of the argument, showing a balanced view.

16
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

371 words

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some people think that money makes a life a comfortable others think that a large amount of money brings more trouble. do you think advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

It was predicted that people living in the twenty-first century would have more free time than ever before because of improvements in technology. To what extent has this prediction come true?

Presently, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Some businesses prohibit smoking in any of their offices. Some governments have banned smoking in all public places. Do you agree or disagree that this is the right course of action? Give reasons for your opinion.

Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

"Prevention is better than cure". Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree.