Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is being argued that educational
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
ought to take in the same population of boys and
girls
in every field.
Also
, I totally concur with
this
idea because of equal chance and breaking down traditional
gender
stereotypes. The main reason for my agreement with
this
opinion is the same level of opportunity to attend
university
. Not only should
girls
and boys be accepted based on their talent not
gender
, but
also
, they must compete in equal concomitances.
For
this
reason, in most countries,
such
as my country, Iran, an exam is held yearly which is called the
university
entrance exam. The purpose of a
university
is to find talented people and help them. Since talent is rooted in the genetics of every person, they must focus on skills rather than
gender
.
Consequently
, in
this
situation, every individual could find the chance if they are professional without
gender
consideration. Another reason for my agreement with
this
proposition is changing common
gender
assumption
Fix the agreement mistake
assumptions
show examples
. In some countries, studying
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
university
is not acceptable for
girls
. They believe that they must stay at home and just take care of children
that is
not true. Governments should try hard to break down
this
opinion and encourage
girls
to attend universities. The more educational
girls
exist, the more developed society
comes
Verb problem
becomes
show examples
as follows.
Subsequently
, when
girls
are educated, they could contribute to improving the economy and society. In conclusion, to reiterate I agree with accepting
girls
and boys in
university
equally in each major because of creating the same chance and removing traditional beliefs. Should
this
idea be put into practice, it could have beneficial results.
Submitted by benyaminzademoradian1378 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all supporting sentences relate to it. This will enhance the coherence and clarity of your essay.
task achievement
Use more specific examples or data to strengthen your points, making your argument more compelling and relatable to the reader.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the issue and articulates the reasons for agreement effectively.
coherence cohesion
Good use of transition words and logical structuring of arguments to guide the reader through the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender diversity
  • fostering innovation
  • educational experience
  • enforcing gender quotas
  • merit and potential
  • individual achievements
  • natural differences
  • gender equality
  • reducing gender stereotypes
  • balanced workforce
  • traditionally male-dominated or female-dominated fields
  • fluctuating applicant numbers
  • compromise on quality
  • diversity aspects
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