It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environment, such as the South Pole. What are advantages and disadvantages of this development?

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There are many natural places that are now open for scientists and tourists to travel to

such

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as the South Pole. I believe that

this

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new possibility can provide benefits

as well as

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drawbacks.

To begin

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with, the exploration of a new natural environment can be the door for discoveries. Scientists and explorers can find additional sources,

for example

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, unexplored surroundings where undiscovered medicines like herbs can be found which are a great help in treating specific diseases.

Additionally

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, finding out new components that can

also

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be used for medicinal purposes. In the end,

this

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can be a huge aid in the medical field today or in the future.

However

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, it is undeniable that resources from nature can

also

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be damaged in

this

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exploration. Travellers and researchers can be a potential risk to the animals, plants and other creatures living in the area.

For instance

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, in the South Pole, people can be the cause of rapid melting of ice,

thus

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, affecting polar bears, penguins and other habitats.

This

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might

also

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be the cause of the rising sea level.

Moreover

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, since the surrounding is not used by other visitors , especially humans, it can increase the chance of destruction that can sometimes lead to the extinction of animals. In conclusion, visiting undiscovered areas can be beneficial in a way that it can help tourists and scientists explore more and unveil new substances or living creatures, I

also

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believe that the negative impact of

this

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includes the destruction of habitats or certain animals, plants and other living organisms.

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Coherence and Cohesion

Enhance the connections between your ideas. Some parts of your essay jump from one point to another without a clear transition. For instance, move smoothly between the points on medicinal discoveries and environmental dangers.

Task Achievement

Further elaborate on some points. For example, you could explain in more detail why the treatment of diseases with new herbs is a major benefit. Additionally, your point about the increased risk of extinction could be clarified better.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your introduction effectively sets the stage for discussing both the benefits and the drawbacks of the topic, providing a balanced view from the start.

Coherence and Cohesion

You have a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points of your essay effectively, reinforcing your arguments made in the main body paragraphs.

Task Achievement

The essay discusses both sides of the issue, which is key to answering a 'discuss both views' type of question.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

6.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

256 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

remote natural environment
scientific research
climate change
environmental preservation
economic benefits
conservation efforts
habitat disruption
pollution
cultural disruption
indigenous populations
commercialization
safety risks
personal enrichment
ecosystems
awareness
appreciation for nature

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It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environment, such as the South Pole. What are advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

These days too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine, rather than by following a healthy lifestyle. To what extent to you agree with this statement.

Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Some people think that the most practical way to become a professional is to gain practical experience in this field. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cities, public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In the past, teachers were the main source of information, but today students have a wide source of information, so teachers are no longer important in the modern education. Do you agree or disagree?