It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environment, such as the South Pole. What are advantages and disadvantages of this development?

There are many natural places that are now open for scientists and tourists to travel to
such
as the South Pole. I believe that
this
new possibility can provide benefits
as well as
drawbacks.
To begin
with, the exploration of a new natural environment can be the door for discoveries. Scientists and explorers can find additional sources,
for example
, unexplored surroundings where undiscovered medicines like herbs can be found which are a great help in treating specific diseases.
Additionally
, finding out new components that can
also
be used for medicinal purposes. In the end,
this
can be a huge aid in the medical field today or in the future.
However
, it is undeniable that resources from nature can
also
be damaged in
this
exploration. Travellers and researchers can be a potential risk to the animals, plants and other creatures living in the area.
For instance
, in the South Pole, people can be the cause of rapid melting of ice,
thus
, affecting polar bears, penguins and other habitats.
This
might
also
be the cause of the rising sea level.
Moreover
, since the surrounding is not used by other visitors , especially humans, it can increase the chance of destruction that can sometimes lead to the extinction of animals. In conclusion, visiting undiscovered areas can be beneficial in a way that it can help tourists and scientists explore more and unveil new substances or living creatures, I
also
believe that the negative impact of
this
includes the destruction of habitats or certain animals, plants and other living organisms.
Submitted by cng123 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance the connections between your ideas. Some parts of your essay jump from one point to another without a clear transition. For instance, move smoothly between the points on medicinal discoveries and environmental dangers.
Task Achievement
Further elaborate on some points. For example, you could explain in more detail why the treatment of diseases with new herbs is a major benefit. Additionally, your point about the increased risk of extinction could be clarified better.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for discussing both the benefits and the drawbacks of the topic, providing a balanced view from the start.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points of your essay effectively, reinforcing your arguments made in the main body paragraphs.
Task Achievement
The essay discusses both sides of the issue, which is key to answering a 'discuss both views' type of question.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remote natural environment
  • scientific research
  • climate change
  • environmental preservation
  • economic benefits
  • conservation efforts
  • habitat disruption
  • pollution
  • cultural disruption
  • indigenous populations
  • commercialization
  • safety risks
  • personal enrichment
  • ecosystems
  • awareness
  • appreciation for nature
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