IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In order to study at university students are required to pay expensive tuition fees. Not all student can afford them so some people think that university education should be free for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is no denying that university
tuition
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fees
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 are expensive.
While
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 many believe that
students
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 must pay a high price for quality
education
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, others argue against
this
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 notion. In my opinion,
tuition
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fees
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 can be difficult to afford, and not all
students
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 can bear
this
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 financial burden.
To begin
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 with, many
students
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 may be forced to drop out of university.
In other words
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, they might find it too risky to invest a large sum of money in their
education
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, especially if they are uncertain about the returns.
Additionally
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, the financial strain can cause immense stress.
For example
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,
students
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 may constantly worry about whether their investment in
education
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 will be worthwhile. Another important point to consider is that some
students
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 might resort to unethical means to cover their
tuition
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fees
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. In extreme cases, they may even engage in theft or other illegal activities to afford their studies.
Furthermore
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, financial pressure can lead to resentment and frustration. When
students
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 feel overwhelmed by
tuition
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 costs, they may develop a negative attitude toward the
education
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 system.
For instance
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, a study conducted at the University of London in 2010 found that 70% of individuals would go to great lengths to achieve their goals, including taking desperate measures. In conclusion,
although
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 opinions on
this
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 matter vary, I believe universities should reduce
tuition
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fees
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 to make
education
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 more accessible. Lowering costs would alleviate
students
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' financial stress, enabling them to focus on their studies without resorting to extreme measures.

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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on each argument you present by providing further explanations or examples. This could strengthen the points you make about financial strain and unethical behavior.
coherence and cohesion
Consider adding transitional phrases to improve the flow between paragraphs and ideas. This could enhance the overall coherence of your essay.
content
Your introduction sets a clear position and outlines the topic effectively, which engages the reader's attention.
example
You provided a relevant example with the study from the University of London, showcasing good research and support for your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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