In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Nowadays,
people
in some countries tend to think that owning their
home
is more important than renting one.
This
choice has a number of benefits and drawbacks, which will be discussed in
this
essay. Some of the reasons for
this
belief are the sense of owning
and
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
investment that it may provide.
People
usually rather buy their own
home
because they can inherit it for their children someday because it is theirs,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
unlike
people
who rent a
home
and have to pay every month or year but still
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
own the property.
Furthermore
,
people
can do any renovations or decorations as much as they want.
Moreover
, owning a property can be a good investment because they can rent or it may be sell again the building in the future,
also
they can put the house as collateral in the bank. In my opinion,
this
can be a positive or negative situation. It can't be denied that owning a
home
also
has its own drawbacks,
such
as costing a lot of money in the front for the building, the documents, and others.
Then
, by owning a house, there are several taxes to be paid and
also
several insurances that must be fulfilled. In conclusion, owning a
home
is not a must, you can always rent one as long as you have shelter and your needs are provided. It depends on what you want,
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
, have, and future plan because what others need doesn't mean it is your needs as well.
Submitted by talithanakhwah19 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Try to ensure that your essay has a clear progression of ideas, with logical connectors and appropriate paragraphing to enhance its flow. Use phrases to link ideas and paragraphs together for more seamless reading.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but could be improved. The introduction should more clearly state the main points that will be discussed. The conclusion could be expanded to reflect more insightful commentary on the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure each main point is well-supported with specific examples and explanations. Avoid making general statements without backing them up with detailed evidence or examples.
Task Achievement
Answer all parts of the prompt effectively. Ensure you answer both 'why owning a home is important' and 'whether it's a positive or negative situation' comprehensively. Consider including more discussion on the implications of this trend and exploring both sides of the argument.
Task Achievement
Develop ideas fully by exploring each one more thoroughly. Try to go beyond stating an idea and then provide an in-depth explanation, analysis, or examples that clearly show your understanding and engage with the question.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points. Share real-life situations, data, or studies that relate to the topic and help to illustrate your argument. This will make your essay more convincing and grounded.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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