Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy? (Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.)

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Some people believe that plenty of

money

Use synonyms

is the key to living a happy

life

Use synonyms

, which might be

due to

Linking Words

the privilege that

such

Linking Words

amount

Correct article usage

an amount

show examples

money

Use synonyms

can offer.

Although

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

wealth is not the only factor that leads to happiness, family ties are one of the reasons to be happy. It's undeniable that

money

Use synonyms

is the engine of many

things

Use synonyms

life

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

means that to create a content

life

Use synonyms

you need a good amount of

money

Use synonyms

to live a decent

life

Use synonyms

and be able to study, travel, and have food and shelter.

Therefore

Linking Words

, living in financial instability might affect the feeling of satisfaction and safety leading individuals to experience hopelessness and sadness. To illustrate, recent studies have shown that having a certain number of

money

Use synonyms

goes hand in hand with the feeling of fulfilment and self-contentment

due to

Linking Words

the privileges that come with wealth.

However

Linking Words

, being wealthy isn't necessarily the only way to achieve a pleasant

life

Use synonyms

. There are

things

Use synonyms

life

Use synonyms

that are priceless,

such

Linking Words

as family and

health

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

means that you can have all the

money

Use synonyms

in the world but it won't be relevant to having a family and

Remove the article

apply

show examples

good

health

Use synonyms

Thereby

Rephrase

Therefore

show examples

, it's important to focus on feeding the

things

Use synonyms

that contribute to having a cheerful, balanced

life

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, a study shows that family and

health

Use synonyms

are essential contributors to true happiness. In conclusion, having a good income will make an individual's

life

Use synonyms

easier and happier thanks to the advantages that it provides. Yet, other

things

Use synonyms

like family and

health

Use synonyms

are needed to ensure our contentment in

life

Use synonyms

Ayreen🍒 Sun Mar 09 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Although your introduction provides a clear statement of the topic, consider rephrasing for clarity by combining ideas. For instance, 'While many believe that money is the primary key to happiness, family bonds also play a significant role.'

task achievement

Make sure to fully support your main ideas with more specific examples or anecdotes, as this will strengthen your argument. You mentioned studies, but providing the source or specific findings would enhance your points.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a well-defined structure, however, ensure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence. This will improve the logical flow between sentences and ideas.

coherence and cohesion

In your conclusion, reiterate the main points more forcefully for emphasis, perhaps by summarizing both the benefits of money and the irreplaceable value of family and health.

task achievement

The essay effectively discusses both sides of the argument regarding happiness and money, making it a balanced response.

coherence and cohesion

Overall, the logical structure of the essay is clear, with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Wealth
Affluence
Prosperity
Financial security
Opportunities
Options
Experiences
Enjoyment
Helping others
Generosity
Philanthropy
Achieving goals
Realizing dreams
Peace of mind
Reduced stress

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
One of the consequence of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
The rise of new medical techniques and the advent of revolutionary technologies in the field have had a major impact on life expectancy. As more people have access to better medical care, increased longevity comes as a product of it. A series of advantages and disadvantages arise owing to the fact that these larger elderly populations are out of the workforce. In this essay, I will give my personal opinion on why I think that the advantages of better medical treatments outweigh the cons of it.
7.5
band
Competitiveness is a positive quality for people in most societies. How does competitiveness affect individuals? Is it a positive or a negative trend?
Being competitive, according to many cultures, is a positive quality since it inspires people to keep working toward their objectives. I wholeheartedly concur that rivalry is a good quality as it encourages individuals to maintain their concentration and perform more efficiently in both corporate and individual cultures.
7
band
It is a good thing for people in senior management positions to get a higher salary than other workers in the same company. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
For people who are in top management positions, they get paid more than other employees of the same company. I completely agree with this perspective because it will lead to positive outcomes for the company. like increased order and productivity in terms of the company's efficiency and performance. Additionally, getting salaries should be beside managers' knowledge and talents.
6.5
band
Some people think that school should choose students according to their academic abilities, while others think it is better to have students of different abilities studying together. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.
In this present world, academic standings have become a crucial factor for schools. Even universities choose their candidates based on grades only. While some individuals claim schools should opt for students with high standings, others believe that pupils with different abilities should not be separated. In the subsequent paragraphs, both views will be discussed, however, In my opinion, separating students with specific qualifications would be more beneficial.
8
band
People believe that Generation Z (1997-2007) are more dishonest than previous generations. What is the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?
There is a common belief that the Z generation’s teenagers are becoming more and more dishonest when compared to the older ones. This assumption derives from the lack of later appropriate punishments while having been a detrimental issue resulting in the emergence of other negative traits in a child’s behaviour.

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy? (Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.)

Your opinion

One of the consequence of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Competitiveness is a positive quality for people in most societies. How does competitiveness affect individuals? Is it a positive or a negative trend?

It is a good thing for people in senior management positions to get a higher salary than other workers in the same company. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that school should choose students according to their academic abilities, while others think it is better to have students of different abilities studying together. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.

People believe that Generation Z (1997-2007) are more dishonest than previous generations. What is the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?