IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people believe that technology is making it easier for people to live in cities, while others think it is making life more complicated. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #technology #cities #life
There is ongoing debate about the impact of
technology
 on urban
life
.
While
 some view it as a positive development that simplifies living in cities, others argue that it complicates daily
life
. I believe that
while
technology
 indeed brings significant convenience, it
also
 presents certain challenges that cannot be overlooked. In today’s world,
technology
 is an indispensable part of urban areas, providing numerous benefits that make
life
 easier. Notable advancements in transportation,
for instance
, have revolutionized how people navigate cities. Modern cars, buses, trains, and trams allow individuals to commute efficiently and comfortably, thereby making places more accessible.
This
 ease of movement supports a fast-paced lifestyle, enabling individuals to manage their responsibilities more effectively.
As a result
,
technology
 can be seen as a vital component that enhances urban living.
On the other hand
, the increasing reliance on
technology
 has led to unintended consequences, particularly regarding health and well-being. Many people spend the majority of their time engaged with various gadgets and digital services, often at the expense of physical activity and social interactions.
For example
, food delivery applications,
while
 convenient, encourage sedentary habits by making it unnecessary to cook or even leave the house for meals. Over time,
this
 dependence on
technology
 may lead to a decline in physical health and mental well-being, as traditional, healthier routines are replaced by passive consumption. In conclusion,
while
technology
 undoubtedly plays an essential role in improving the quality of
life
 in cities, excessive dependence on it can lead to adverse effects. I believe a balanced approach is necessary, where the benefits of
technology
 are embraced without losing sight of traditional practices that promote a healthy lifestyle. Moderated and mindful use of
technology
 is key to creating a sustainable and fulfilling urban experience.
Submitted by navsukhrai5319 on

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task achievement
To enhance the task response, you could incorporate more specific examples that illustrate the points being made, such as mentioning particular technologies or applications that simplify or complicate city living.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, consider using more varied transition words and phrases to ensure smooth flow between sentences and paragraphs. This can help maintain reader engagement and clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear and well-organized structure, with a strong introduction and conclusion that neatly encapsulate the main argument.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both perspectives, showing a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
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