IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

You have seen an advertisement in the local newspaper for swimming lessons at your community sports centre. You want to find out more about these lessons. Write a letter to the manager of the sports centre. In the letter ● describe how well you can swim at the moment ● explain why you want to learn to swim better ● enquire about the time and cost of the swimming lessons

#advertisement #newspaper #lessons #community #sports #centre #manager #moment #enquire #time #cost
Dear Sir, I hope
this
 letter finds you well. I am writing
this
 letter in context to the swimming classes provided in
community
Add an article
a community
the community
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 sports centre. I am a resident of Ward 16 and I am interested in learning swimming because I am a
beginners
Correct the article-noun agreement
beginner
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 and I barely can swim to a few metres only. I want to learn
this
 sport,because it
facinates
Correct your spelling
fascinates
fascinated
 me from childhood. I wanted to learn it, but I could not manage to do so as I was not able to find any teacher. My aim behind learning is to compete at higher levels and push
my self
Correct your spelling
myself
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 physically and mentally. It would be great of you if you could tell me about a few things.
Firstly
, the schedule of classes,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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would help me to spare time for the lessons.
Secondly
,
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
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 of the course,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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would help me to manage
finances
Correct pronoun usage
my finances
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. I hope you will write
me
Change preposition
to me
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 on
this
 and I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Jatinder
Submitted by mrsdns on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph addresses a single point clearly to enhance coherence. For example, separate the personal motivation from the logistics enquiry.
coherence cohesion
You might want to give a brief closing remark or expression of anticipation for the response, to round off the letter.
coherence cohesion
The letter is structured with a clear introduction, body, and closing, making it easy for the reader to follow.
task achievement
The task response is complete, addressing the ability to swim, reasons for learning, and enquiring about lesson details.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is appropriate and polite for a formal enquiry.
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