IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many cannot speak or present well in public. Some people think that it is important to speak well in public, so the training should be from school. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #school
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There is no denying the fact that learning communication
skills
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 is a crucial thing.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that school must enrol their students in good speech programs, there is
also
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 an argument that opposes it. I strongly agree with
this
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 idea, because it will increase their confidence and raise the rate of success in their future.
To begin
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 with, travel requires good communication
skills
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, because they will need to talk to
people
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 with different languages and different personalities.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 lack confidence they will fear talking freely in another language and they will start to be anxious.
For example
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, citizens around the world have different personalities and it requires confident
people
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 with good
skills
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 to deal with that mentality,
otherwise
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, they will face huge problems.
Moreover
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, to build a good career it will require to build good presentation
skills
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, in the interview, they need to present themselves in a good manner with confidence.
In addition
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, large-scale companies are looking for employees with
such
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skills
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.
In addition
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,
people
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 with low presentation
skills
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 will enrol in low-paid jobs because they lack the ability to develop.
For instance
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, Facebook and X, they always looking for
people
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 with good presentation
skills
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, because they will represent the company in different ceremonies, so they need to be good talkers. In conclusion, despite
people
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 having different views, I tend to believe that communication
skills
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 start from a young age, and it requires a good teacher to raise
such
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skills
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, so
in
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that in
show examples
 the future children become more confident.
Submitted by sslghamdi945 on

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task achievement
Consider providing a wider range of specific examples to strengthen your argument further. For instance, you could include examples of countries or educational systems where public speaking is part of the curriculum and observed outcomes.
coherence cohesion
Try to introduce transitional phrases to create more logical flow between the ideas and paragraphs, enhancing the coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively set the stage and summarize your argument.
task achievement
You addressed the task successfully by agreeing with the statement and providing reasons and examples to support your opinion.
task achievement
The point about confidence and anxiety in relation to language and personality differences is insightful and relevant.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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