The best way to measure someone’s success is to look at how much money that person has. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the contemporary world, money defines our status and how well we live. In my opinion, we should not consider funds as the value of success and happiness in someone’s life.
Firstly
Linking Words
, money represents just paper that people always try to find and win.
As a result
Linking Words
, they think that they have success when they are rich, but it is not true. On the one hand, if you work hard and receive a good salary you can consider yourself a person with perspectives.
For example
Linking Words
, more and more teenagers try to find a job where they are paid enough to make themselves look cooler and glamorous. Under these circumstances, it does not mean that when you have more cash than others you achieve victory in your existence.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, you can illegally have wealth. Corruption is a very widespread thing in our world. You can give bribes and
also
Linking Words
receive them. Because of
this
Linking Words
, your triumph does not depend on how much cash you make. In most cases, persons like
this
Linking Words
are rich, unhappy, and
also
Linking Words
without success in their lives.
For instance
Linking Words
, I know a person who worked all his life to have good capital and become a successful person. To put it more simply, he was working day and night to make a good house, to buy a car and other things.
As a consequence
Linking Words
, he died without a family or anyone else who could just support him.
This
Linking Words
shows that money does not bring us just achievement, but
also
Linking Words
can leave us with nothing. In conclusion, I think that if we look at someone’s possessions and see an amount of bucks it does not represent their received goals.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
In your introduction, consider providing a clearer thesis statement that directly addresses your position on the topic. This will help set the tone for the rest of your essay.
task achievement
While you have included relevant points, ensure that each point is thoroughly explained and developed to enhance the clarity of your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer transitions between points and paragraphs to improve the logical flow of your essay. This will help the reader follow your arguments more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to include varied sentence structures to enhance the overall quality of your writing. This will add sophistication to your style.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion and a consistent argument against evaluating success solely based on financial wealth.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples that illustrate your points, which strengthens your arguments.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: