Many families have both parents working. Some working parents believe grandparents can take care of their children, while others think t=childcare centres are better. discuss both views and give your opinion?

#families #parents #grandparents #care #children #t=childcare #centres

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Nowadays, in most families, because of the high cost of living, both

parents

Use synonyms

have to work, and they need a safe place to take care of their

children

Use synonyms

. Some people believe that grandparents can look after them,

whereas

Linking Words

others think kindergarten and childcare centres are better preferences.

This

Linking Words

essay discusses both opinions and explores the better choice for

such

Linking Words

families. On the one hand, grandparents watching their own grandchildren is not only beneficial for working

parents

Use synonyms

, but

also

Linking Words

it has some advantages for the elderly.

For example

Linking Words

, struggling with

children

Use synonyms

helps them have a more active life.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the old

parents

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might not tolerate

children

Use synonyms

and their following problems, and feel disaster when faced with new problems.

Additionally

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

in the early years of their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

need to be in an active place,

otherwise

Linking Words

, they face serious problems.

For instance

Linking Words

, when I worked as a teacher in a kindergarten, I met a child who was doing their activity very slowly, after searching about his situation, we found out he lived with their grandparent, and it really had a negative effect on his behaviour. Finding a decent, affordable, and safe childcare centre might seem hard, but it is more beneficial for

children

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

, they are able to socialize with other

children

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of the same age, which enhances their social skills.

Secondly

Linking Words

, there are various

Change preposition

apply

show examples

activities that develop

children

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's skills,

such

Linking Words

as music classes, theatre workshops, literacy, and so on.

Finally

Linking Words

children

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have the

opportunities

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunity

show examples

to enjoy their childhood in a safe, active, healthy and interesting environment. I believe that If both

parents

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have to work, it is crucial to find a good kindergarten, or institute, which not only takes care of their child

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

teaches them essential skills in a fun and healthy environment. In conclusion,

although

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some working

parents

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prefer to hand over their child to grandparents, finding a centre is more beneficial for their babies.

Submitted by rozakoohvand on Thu Nov 07 2024

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task achievement

Your essay does a good job of addressing both views on the topic, but make sure to further elaborate the benefits of childcare centres to make your argument more comprehensive.

coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence, try to use more diverse linking words to smoothly connect the different sections of your essay.

introduction conclusion present

You clearly stated both sides of the argument in your introduction, which sets a strong foundation for your essay.

introduction conclusion present

Concluding with a strong opinion that reinforces your viewpoint provides clarity and leaves a lasting impression.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

321 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

emotional bond
communication
family history
flexible
fixed hours
availability
structured environment
trained professionals
educational development
social development
planned activities
stimulating environment
individual attention
personalized care

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Many families have both parents working. Some working parents believe grandparents can take care of their children, while others think t=childcare centres are better. discuss both views and give your opinion?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Instead of asking the government to bear the cost of higher education, students should pay their own tuition fees themselves. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

People have to spend more and more time travelling from their homes for jobs and study. What are the reasons? How can we solve this problem?

An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies to shopping on line.