IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Online education is becoming increasingly popular. Many university students are choosing to study online instead of face to face. Do the advantages of distance education outwiegh the disadvantages?

#education #university #students #study #face #distance #outwiegh
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
As online-based learning becomes increasingly popular, many university
students
 prefer to study online rather than face-to-face. I firmly believe that the advantages of long-distance classrooms significantly outweigh the disadvantages. Primarily, studying through video calls
such
 as Zoom is
time
-saving. By attending online classes,
students
 do not need to go to the
classroom
 and get stuck in traffic congestion, which mainly consumes
time
.
For example
, many university
students
 often spend most of their
time
 on the road rather than studying in the
classroom
 itself, resulting in fatigue and diminished concentration.
Thus
, the use of distance learning could reduce
time
 spent commuting, providing more spare
time
 for other productive activities.
Furthermore
, online studying can reduce
overall
education
 costs.
This
 system offers flexibility so that
students
 can attend class anywhere without residing near the university.
For instance
, an international student can still engage in the learning process via video conference applications without commuting to another country or renting a house, meaning less money spent on housing or flight tickets.
Therefore
, it alleviates
students
' financial burdens related to
education
. Critics argue that offline learning is better than online learning because it provides real-life
classroom
 experiences.
While
this
 concern is valid, the
time
 and money spent are far more crucial to consider than face-to-face interactions, because many
students
 come from diverse socioeconomic backgrounds, suggesting assorted affordability levels. Universities can still promote online group discussions to encourage engagement. In conclusion, despite some legitimate concerns about real-life
classroom
 experiences, the advantages of distance
education
,
such
 as
time
-saving and cost-effectiveness, clearly outweigh the disadvantages. Implementing online
education
 can lead to more accessible and flexible
education
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay successfully addresses the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of online education and presenting a clear opinion. To enhance the task response further, consider exploring a wider range of potential disadvantages in more depth to provide a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is mostly clear, with well-organized paragraphs that effectively support your main points. To improve even more, ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next with clear, transitional phrases connecting them.
task achievement
Your essay has a clear focus and you have effectively presented your opinion on the advantages of online education over traditional face-to-face learning.
task achievement
Examples provided, such as the time-saving aspect of online learning and reduced costs for international students, are relevant and reinforce your arguments well.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-constructed, clearly stating your position and summarizing your main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay is unified and coherent, maintaining a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • virtual learning
  • asynchronous/synchronous sessions
  • digital literacy
  • course accessibility
  • virtual classrooms
  • e-learning platforms
  • multimedia resources
  • self-motivated learning
  • peer collaboration
  • web-based assignments
  • networking capabilities
  • academic dishonesty
  • hands-on experience
  • technical barriers
  • digital divide
What to do next:
Look at other essays: