some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Today, by developing technology, human life has been influenced by
smartphones
, especially for children
.This
trend
has a crucial rule on children
's lifestyles and provides an insight into their personal background as they grow,however
, my personal approach toward this
is that using smartphones
depends on the permission that parents give to children
, regarding it's circumstances such
as the impact that it takes on the children
's mental health or studying.
One point which I personally believe is the fact that smartphones
can impact the mental health of a child
. The way of behaving that a child
instructs from the internet can harm, not only the child
but also
society.For example
, In many social media like Instagram and Facebook, every user has a different behaviour that imprints in a child
's mind that he or uses in society,though, there are many positive impacts that we can gain from these social media, for example
, many accounts in Instagram are trying 24 hours to motivate to success . Nevertheless
, this
trend
depends on parents and how they try to control applications smartphones
by children
, since, they should study and do their homework for school, in addition
, phones will influence children
's concentration when they are in school and sometimes it will lead to the addicted child
to phone.
Another positive view, that might be argued which is pivotal is that, they access any sites related to plus 18 subjects and some of the parents do not care about it. In many societies especially Iran, fortunately, this
trend
is banned by the government which can harm children
.For example
,in poor families that have financial consistency to prepare toys, boys and girls are attracted by these sites,although
, they can use many appropriate sites to learn like education and how to cook and any skills.
In conclusion, It is right that smartphones
have a negative trend
which impacts on child
's behaviour, but, it can be beneficial by learning new skills like learning a new language.Submitted by takhtejamshid1400historikal on
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coherence cohesion
Try to maintain a clear focus in each paragraph. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within it are related to this idea.
coherence cohesion
To enhance the essay's structure, clarify the distinction between your main idea and the supplementary details or examples that support it.
task achievement
Work on specific examples to back up your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
task achievement
Avoid repeating information and instead spend more time developing new ideas or exploring the implications of the points you've already made.
task achievement
Your essay adequately addresses why children spend significant time on smartphones, and you also provide a clear opinion on whether this is a positive or negative development.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which are well-connected to the main points discussed.
task achievement
You have attempted to provide a balanced view by acknowledging both positive and negative aspects of smartphone usage among children.
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