IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people do not eat meat and fish. They think that it will better for health and also world. Discuss the the view and give you opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, many people have become vegetarian which means they do not have
meat
Use synonyms
 in their meals. it is thought that being vegetarian will have positive effects on their health and the planet too.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine both viewpoints and present my perspective. Those who argue in favour of
this
Linking Words
 contention point out that eating
meat
Use synonyms
 affects our planet dreadfully. As we know animals
such
Linking Words
 as cows produce CO2 emissions , which leads to global warming and pollution.
In other words
Linking Words
, when individuals stop eating
meat
Use synonyms
 , the number of growing these eatable animals is significantly decreased.Another possible reason ,but perhaps more important, is fishing constantly ,can lead in turn to sea life extinction.
For example
Linking Words
, If fish
such
Linking Words
 as salmon , come out from the sea in enough numbers,
then
Linking Words
 the salmons may disappear forever.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, others who object
vegetarianism
Change preposition
to vegetarianism
show examples
 people argue that there are many vitamins, proteins, and minerals that individuals can gain from seafood and
meat
Use synonyms
 naturally which are really challenging to get from other meals. Calcium ,as a vital vitamin, plays a key role in strengthing people's muscles and bones, individuals can get it at a high level from various types of fish.
To conclude
Linking Words
,I strongly believe ,
however
Linking Words
,
eating
Correct word choice
that eating
show examples
meat
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 highly necessary for our body and immune system ,protecting sea life from disappearing and environments from warming are more essential. We can get vitamins and proper nutrition from other foods
such
Linking Words
 as fruit and vegetables. And
also
Linking Words
 another remedy for
this
Linking Words
 is taking medicine like pills that provide those kinds of nutrition to our body's
Correct your spelling
needs
show examples
nee
Correct your spelling
need
show examples

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Strengthen your introduction by clearly stating both sides of the argument and presenting a more definitive thesis statement. You may want to explicitly mention your opinion in the introduction for clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates to the thesis statement. This helps to guide the reader through your arguments more logically.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. Phrases such as 'moreover', 'in addition', and 'on the contrary' could be beneficial for maintaining coherence.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points. Citing more precise statistics or studies regarding the health benefits of vegetarianism or the environmental impact of meat-eating would strengthen your arguments.
Task Achievement
The essay provides a good balance by discussing both perspectives regarding vegetarianism, which reflects critical thinking and engagement with the topic.
Task Achievement
You present some relevant points about environmental concerns related to meat consumption and provide examples, such as CO2 emissions from cows, which adds depth to the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Plant-based diet
  • Chronic diseases
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Deforestation
  • Water consumption
  • Mitigate climate change
  • Natural resources
  • Animal welfare
  • Humane and ethical choice
  • Healthcare costs
  • Sustainable farming
  • Legumes
  • Fruits and vegetables
  • Vegetarian
  • Vegan
What to do next:
Look at other essays: