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Band 7.5

In today’s society people tend to buy many things and throw them away even though they can still be used. What are some causes of this behaviour? What are some effects? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#today’s #society #people #behaviour #effects
It is undeniable that globalisation provides individuals with numerous choices that allow them to purchase as many goods as they want even if they do not need them.
However
, buying without thinking can them to throw away their brand-new goods.
This
 essay will analyse the reason behind
this
 behaviour with its impact on Earth which I will explain in
further
 paragraphs.
To begin
 with, the causes for discarding new things away.
Firstly
, social media tends to play a crucial role in encouraging people to buy the latest
products
 and discard the older ones as in modern society it is important to follow trends for maintaining their social status.
Similarly
, marketing and advertising teams do their best to sell their
products
 and make them addictive in front of an audience.
Moreover
, manufacturers often design
products
 with shorter lifespans to encourage repeat purchases which is known as planned obsolescence.
This
 causes consumers to throw away items that are no longer functioning.
For instance
, shaving tools can only be used once or twice which significantly contributes to increasing the sales for the company.
However
, talking about the effects of wasting
products
. The first and foremost impact is on the environment as the
products
 discarded by individuals are often made up of plastic which does not decompose even after 20 years.
Therefore
, to get rid of all
this
 waste companies tend to throw all that
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 oceans which again puts marine species in danger and makes them extinct from planet Earth. It is observed that 45% of waste is thrown in water bodies only which becomes the reason for the extinction of 25 plus species of water animals.
To conclude
, it a widely said that every action has an equal reaction which is true in every sense as the things which we are throwing today are becoming the reason for making our own planet inhabitable.
Submitted by k7jassu on

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that supporting sentences are directly linked to that idea. For instance, the introduction of a topic sentence could improve coherence.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your points. This will help in achieving a more comprehensive task response.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively sets the context and outlines the purpose of the essay.
logical structure
Logical structure is maintained throughout the essay, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the topic.
supported main points
Relevant causes and effects are identified, providing a good understanding of the issue.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumerism
  • planned obsolescence
  • environmental impact
  • marketing and advertising
  • social status
  • wealth
  • donate
  • recycle
  • identity
  • discard
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