Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place

Nowadays, there is a popular trend around married

couples

around globalization that they tend to enjoy time with their lover rather than build

family

Add an article

a family

show examples

with

a lovely children

Correct the article-noun agreement

lovely children

a lovely child

show examples

. In my observation, there are several reasons why decided to choose

this

kind of lifestyle. First of all,

couples

might consider the necessity of

upbringing

Verb problem

raising

show examples

child

as a disadvantage because of time-consuming and economic status. I believe that taking care of babies is a tough mission for everyone, especially for women. It is torture to overcome the pregnancy period of around nine months.

This

shows women need to stay at home to prevent taking risks outside. In

this

case, women lived under supervision by their parents who could not do something or even work.

Moreover

, as their partner, males need to be aware of their wife's conditions and to do more jobs on working and at home.

Furthermore

, after childbirth,

couples

take the responsibility to look after babies,

such

as in education, cooking, and playing. Married

couples

need to put a lot of energy and time into cultivating their

child

growing up.

Secondly

, the advantage for most married

couples

who want to have a

child

due to

family bonding.

Couples

who lived in a joyful and peaceful living background may influence their thought on

duty

Correct article usage

the duty

show examples

to have a baby.

In addition

, they

also

enjoy living in a big family which is full of happiness and fulfilment.

Therefore

, some

couples

want to have 2-3 children or even more, which can stay together rather than living alone in the future. Sometimes, as a parent, they are pleased to see their

child

grow to become a wonderful adult. It is a way to indicate married

couples

love to raise children in the right way. So, I am sure that having a baby in their family will bring a lot of fun and unforgettable experiences in their life. In conclusion, It seems there are benefits and drawbacks both appear in the circumstance of having a

child

. No matter whether you agree or disagree with

this

opinion, you should be a sailor to control your life direction.

Submitted by huangjiali617 on Sat Nov 09 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion

Improve the logical flow of the essay by organizing thoughts more clearly. Consider outlining your main points before writing to ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next.

Task Achievement

While you have provided some good points, ensure that each point is fully supported with detailed examples or explanations. Try to elaborate further on each idea for better clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in structuring your overall argument.

Task Achievement

You presented a clear perspective on the topic and related it to contemporary issues, which makes your response relevant and engaging.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

352 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

good members of society
teach
parents
schools
responsibility
values
respect
empathy
responsibility
formal education
citizenship
ethics
social responsibility
lead by example
role models
conducive environment
extracurricular activities
community involvement
collaborate
holistic approach

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Write a letter to a book store manager who is living in another city. Ask him/her to make available a book you are interested
I hope this letter finds you well. Currently, I am pursuing the first year of under graduation, and I have an Economics exam next week. To prepare for the exam, I need to get a Microeconomics book written by Mankiew which is showing available on your bookstore’s website. I am writing to request you keep one copy of this book aside for me, and I will come to your store tomorrow to purchase it.
5
band
Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion
People have different views about how a person could be succeed in his or her life. While some individuals argue that finding a job immediately after high school is a better option, I personally agree with those who believe that education is a key to find a better occupation.
4
band
Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as sahara desert and atlantic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?
These days places like Sahara desert and Atlantic where conditions are harsh are becoming tourist attraction. Although visiting such places is dangerous and risky due to harsh environmental conditions but there is a strong need to explore these areas because people are living there and we should explore multi-cultural environment.
5.5
band
Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue with their work
Historically, art has been widely recognized owing to its favourable impact among societies and its advancements have had an exponential growth. Nevertheless, it is well-known that in many countries artists have not received fair stipends. For this reason, they should receive financial aid from not only non-profit organizations but also the government. I partially agree with this because instead of obtaining subsidies, the government should guarantee better wages in this profession.
8.5
band
You and a friend recently went on a holiday together. There is a problem with the photos you have taken during the holiday. Write a letter to your friend to ask for a particular shot. In your letter •tell him/her about the problem with your photos •say which photo you would like him/her to send you •explain why you need this photo
I hope you are doing well, I am writing to ask if you can share some good shots of me doing bungee jumping and parasailing by email.

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Write a letter to a book store manager who is living in another city. Ask him/her to make available a book you are interested

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as sahara desert and atlantic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue with their work