It is often suggested that schoolchildren should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. What are the advantages and disadvantages? Do you think that advantage of this outweigh the disadvantage?
Besides
, acquring
educational knowledge Correct your spelling
acquiring
schoolchildrens
should be involved in different activities so that they can utilize their time in a Correct your spelling
schoolchildren
schoolchildren's
poper
way. I agree with the given statement thatCorrect your spelling
proper
,
Remove the comma
apply
schoolchildrens
are taking part in agricultural activities Correct your spelling
schoolchildren
schoolchildren's
such
as cultivationg
seasonal vegetables and Correct your spelling
cultivating
cultivation
a
keeping animals to enhance their caring skills. Apart from some negative Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
sides
I think its advantage is Add a comma
sides,
supassed
by its disadvantage.
on Correct your spelling
surpassed
ehe
one side, the Correct your spelling
the
school going
Add a hyphen
school-going
childrens
are the future Correct your spelling
children
leader
of a country who will contribute Fix the agreement mistake
leaders
the
country's development in future and will Change preposition
to the
be taken
Wrong verb form
take
familly
responsibilities. Again, after Correct your spelling
family
school
they have a significant amount of time to do something which will be a great contribution Add a comma
school,
for
his family. So, by growing Change preposition
to
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetables
vegetable
he will be able to contributeAdd a comma
vegetable,
Change preposition
to
also
economically by selling these. Moreover
when Add a comma
Moreover,
Correct article usage
an individual's
individual's
Change the noun form
individuals
individual
is try
to maintain animals he will be Wrong verb form
tries
enable
to increase his caring abilities day by day. Correct your spelling
unable
For instance
, when a teeangers
Correct your spelling
teenagers
teenager
learn
how to care Correct subject-verb agreement
learns
anything
he will be able to take Change preposition
for anything
responsilities
Correct your spelling
responsibility
of
his Change preposition
for
youngers
Correct your spelling
younger
.
Correct pronoun usage
ones.
Another side
, Replace the word
On the other hand
the
school Correct article usage
apply
childrens
have their own studies and they should be focused on Correct your spelling
children
it
. Correct pronoun usage
them
However
, when they are gardening and farming they will loose
their valuable Correct your spelling
lose
times
. So, sometimes it will Fix the agreement mistake
time
be hindered
their institutional progression and it will have Wrong verb form
hinder
negative
impact on their future higher education or career Add an article
a negative
developments
. To cite an example, there are a Fix the agreement mistake
development
magnificient
numbers of Correct your spelling
magnificent
schholchildren
are not serious in their studies and when they will be busy with the aforementioned activities without completion their assignments.
Correct your spelling
schoolchildren
To conclude
, the negative sides are controlled by their parents or teachers so, the positive sides of agriculture and farming outweigh its
disadvantages.Correct pronoun usage
their
Submitted by priankajun on
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Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Improve grammatical accuracy by paying attention to subject-verb agreement and correct use of tenses.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph logically leads to the next, maintaining a clearer connection between ideas.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples to strengthen the points made and improve the task response.
Structure
You have a structured essay with an introduction and a conclusion, which sets a clear framework for your argument.
Task Response
The essay covers both advantages and disadvantages, showing a balanced view of the topic.
Task Achievement
Displays an understanding of the topic and attempts to develop a reasoned argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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