Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoo. While others think that zoos are both entertaining and ecologically important. Discuss both views
There are split opinions regarding the
zoo
in which animals
are kept. Some believe that it have
Change the verb form
has
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
to
Change preposition
for
animals
as these zoo
are ecologically important, Change the determiner
zoos
whereas
, another group of thinkers support that it is wrong for the animals
as they do not have freedom. However
both have their own pros and cons. Add a comma
However,
Therefore
, before commenting on my decision both opinions would be discussed.
Exmine
the former opinion, the two main advantages of keeping the Correct your spelling
Examine
animals
in the zoo
is breeding programs and research. Firstly
, in this
contemporary area
humans are clearing the land Add a comma
area,
in addition
to make
more space to build Wrong verb form
making
building
and houses. Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
This
way, some of the rare species of animals
are getting extict
. Correct your spelling
extinct
For instance
, zoo
are playing a serious role to Fix the agreement mistake
zoos
re breed
those Correct your spelling
rebreed
animals
and keep them safe in a healthy enviornment
. Correct your spelling
environment
Secondly
, these animals
are used for research where researchers find out the baheviour
of each breed of Correct your spelling
behaviour
animals
and even they get the knowledge of any disease that they get. Furthermore
, they are using this
reseacrh
to make Correct your spelling
research
antidote
so Correct article usage
an antidote
disease
Add an article
the disease
could
Wrong verb form
can be
cured
Change the verb form
be cured
from
its root.
But Change preposition
at
zoo
Fix the agreement mistake
zoos
also
have some major disadvantages like freedom
of Correct article usage
the freedom
animals
and mistreating
Replace the word
mistreatment
them
. By Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
I mean that Add a comma
this,
although
many zoo
are great in Change to a plural noun
zoos
lengths
Fix the agreement mistake
length
but
they are unable to provide Remove the conjunction
apply
freedom
which Correct article usage
the freedom
animal
get in their natural habitant. Fix the agreement mistake
animals
Moreover
, some of the animals
are not friendly and Correct article usage
the managment
managment
of Correct your spelling
management
zoo
often Correct article usage
the zoo
beat
them or Wrong verb form
beats
make
them suffer from hunger in Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
addtion
to Correct your spelling
addition
change
their Wrong verb form
changing
bahiviour
.
Correct your spelling
behaviour
However
, a proper way of inspections in Add an article
the zoo
a zoo
zoo
which will help to Fix the agreement mistake
zoos
pervent
Correct your spelling
prevent
this activities
in Change the determiner
this activity
these activities
Add an article
a zoo
the zoo
zoo
can reduce the Fix the agreement mistake
zoos
curelty
on them.
To Correct your spelling
cruelty
conculde
and vocal my opinion, I would say that despite the problems that Correct your spelling
conclude
has
been faced by some of the Change the verb form
have
animals
in Add an article
the zoo
a zoo
zoo
, I believe that keeping them in there is logical to study and Fix the agreement mistake
zoos
reporduce
.Correct your spelling
reproduce
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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that your ideas are more comprehensively explained. This can be complemented with clearer examples that support your views.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by clearly linking each paragraph to the essay's overall argument. Use more cohesive devices to create smoother transitions between ideas.
general
Be careful with small inaccuracies in spelling and grammar. This can slightly disrupt the flow and understanding of your argument, so proofreading would be beneficial.
task achievement
You've provided a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument, which is crucial for a 'discuss both views' essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets up the topic, and the conclusion neatly wraps up your arguments by expressing your opinion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.