IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today’s society. To what extent do you agree with this view?

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These days,
advertisements
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 are advancing with
a more updated techniques
Correct the article-noun agreement
more updated techniques
a more updated technique
show examples
, and some of them are considered unethical and unacceptable in our society. I strongly agree with
this
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 notion because numerous advertisement contains deceit and exposure of female bodies. In
this
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 essay, I will explain my opinion about
this
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 kind of ads. First of all, many
advertisements
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 deceive their customers for more benefit. It is actually understandable for a company to make
this
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 in order to gain profits.
However
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, they try to take advantage of us by justifying some facts or overwhelm us with misleading information.
For example
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, the X company in Indonesia
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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stated that their grain products can improve our muscles in just a couple of weeks.
Moreover
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, they highlight our weakness, baiting us to purchase the product.
Secondly
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, more
advertisements
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 intentionally show too much exposure
of
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to
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 a
woman
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's body. They exploit specific human needs which are fundamental: sexual attraction. Most of the time,
this
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 method
work
Correct subject-verb agreement
works
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 significantly for men because
they
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they are
they were
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 usually prone to women's nudity.
For instance
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, several car
advertisements
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such
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 as X and Y reveal too much of a
woman
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's breast and bottom part to attract more viewers and improve their sales.
While
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 it is highly effective to grow exposure to the product,
this
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 is clearly inappropriate and immoral and can absolutely decrease the value of a
woman
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. In conclusion, I clearly believe that these ways of advertising should be banned by the authorities because it is clearly wrong to involve the practice of deceiving and revealing too much of a
woman
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's body.

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task response
Ensure all parts of the question are addressed. Discuss why these advertising methods are considered unethical in greater detail.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the coherence by linking ideas more smoothly with cohesive devices.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion, providing a solid frame for the essay.
task response
Each main point is supported with specific examples.
task response
The essay addresses the question directly, showing a clear viewpoint.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Unethical
  • Unacceptable
  • Deceptive
  • Exaggerated
  • Misleading
  • Manipulation
  • Vulnerable
  • Targeted advertising
  • Perpetuation
  • Societal norms
  • Stereotypes
  • Negative body image
  • Intrusion of privacy
  • Data-driven
  • Over-saturation
  • Desensitization
  • Annoyance
  • Greenwashing
  • Eco-conscious
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