The graph shows dats about the annual earnings of three bakeries in Calgary

The graph shows dats about the annual earnings of three bakeries in Calgary
The following
graph
illustrates the information about the annual
income
of
Amandine
Bakery
,
Mari
Bakershop and
Bolo
Cakery
in Calgary between 2000 and 2010.
Overall
it is noticeable that the
earning
Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
show examples
of
Amandine
Bakery
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
the highest,
while
the
income
of
Bolo
Cakery
was the lowest between 2000 and 2010.
Moreover
, the yearly
income
of
Mari
Bakeshop was only
bakery
which
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
significantly decreased over 10 years; meanwhile,
Amandine
Bakery
and
Bolo
Cakery
have increased. As can be seen,
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
the beginning of the
graph
, the annual
income
of
Mari
Bakeshop was the highest , almost 80,000
dollars
,
while
the yearly earnings of
Amandine
Bakery
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
a little bit below 60,000
dollars
.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
the same period, the lowest
income
is accounted
by
Change preposition
for by
show examples
Bolo
Cakery
, at 20,000
dollars
. As the
graph
shows, from 2005 to 2010, the earnings of
Mari
Bakeshop fell from a little bit above 60000
dollars
to around 40,000
dollars
.
In addition
, in the second half of the
graph
Add a comma
graph,
show examples
the line of
Amandine
Bakery
skyrocketed from
opproxemetely
Correct your spelling
approximately
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
60,000
dollars
to 100,000
dollars
.
Submitted by kozhadargulov on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, income, amandine, bakery, mari, bolo, cakery, dollars with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 4 times.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!