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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that the best way to become successful in life is to get a university education, whereas others say this is no longer true. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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In
today’s
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 fast-paced world, many individuals express serious opinion that completing a
university
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education
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 is essential to succeed in life, believing that it could lead to significant benefits
such
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 as securing jobs with high income.
On the other hand
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, others argue that getting a degree from an institution does not guarantee a successful future. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both views and explain why I believe
university
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education
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 is crucial in our future. One of the main reasons individuals
supports
Correct subject-verb agreement
support
show examples
 completing
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university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education
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 is its powerful impact on our
skills
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 and knowledge, which significantly enhances our experience to comply with
today’s
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 job market.
In other words
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, universities provide multiple opportunities to improve several
skills
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 that are required in the market.
For instance
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, my brother graduated from Oxford
University
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 with multiple courses that strengthened his resume to get accepted into an international
company
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 in London.
This
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 example clearly demonstrates how
this
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 approach can lead to positive developments in future careers.
Therefore
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, I firmly stand with
this
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 point of view.
On the other hand
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, some people believe that a
university
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 degree is not the only path to success.
According to
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 them, there are multiple examples where some people did not go to
university
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 and started their own businesses and became very successful in their lives. In
today’s
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 world,
skills
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 and experience can be gained through various means
such
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 as online courses.
For example
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, the CEO of Apple’s
company
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 has no
university
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education
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, but his
company
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 is considered the most valuable
company
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 in Europe. Despite
this
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 great example, I believe
this
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 happens rarely and cannot be generalized. In conclusion,
while
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 both views have their merits, I am convinced that attending
university
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 offers far greater advantages than depending on personal experience. The evidence clearly shows that
skills
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 and knowledge are gained during the
university
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 period, making it the wiser choice in
today’s
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 complex world.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next, especially between contrasting viewpoints, to enhance the logical flow of ideas.
Task Achievement
Consider providing more specific data or statistics to reinforce the example about online courses and successful entrepreneurs.
Introduction
The essay provides a strong introduction that clearly outlines the two contrasting views on university education and success.
Coherence & Cohesion
Each paragraph is well-structured with a clear main point and supporting example, contributing to the cohesion of the essay.
Conclusion
The essay concludes effectively by summarizing the main points and stating a clear personal opinion, which aligns with the task requirements.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • university degree
  • specialized knowledge
  • critical thinking skills
  • networking opportunities
  • vocational training
  • self-made entrepreneurs
  • gig economy
  • online courses
  • certifications
  • formal education
  • practical experience
  • lifelong learning
  • career goals
  • individual circumstances
  • academic qualifications
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