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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that to get success university education is must, but others don’t believe so. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

#people #success #university #education #don’t
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Some humans opine that in order to be successful in life,
one
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 must possess tertiary
education
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. Whilst, others think it is not necessarily true. I would argue that studies after high school definitely help individuals to accomplish their goals in future careers.
This
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 essay
further
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 discusses both sides
along with
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 my valuable opinion. On the
one
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 hand, people think that a university
education
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 is not going to be very helpful in attaining a successful
career
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.
This
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 has proven to be true in some cases, where
one
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 ends up choosing a different work field and does not require a relevant college
degree
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 to follow their passion.
Moreover
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, the subjects that are pursued in universities are not of much help to anyone who wants to become an entrepreneur.
For example
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, scientists
such
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 as Edison who did not complete a high school
education
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 achieved success by inventing useful things for mankind.
In addition
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, individuals who start up their own firms most likely need more experience than a
degree
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 to accomplish success.
On the other hand
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, I believe that tertiary
education
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 is a must for someone who wants to specialize or acquire specialized knowledge in the chosen field.
This
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, in turn, not only to excel in the professional
career
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 but
also
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 paves the way for higher studies
such
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 as pursuing a Master's
degree
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 or PhD which will eventually aid in achieving greater heights in the field. Some professions like Doctors and pilots,
forinstance
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for instance
, have to pursue tertiary
education
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 in order to work or carry out the responsibilities in
such
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 fields. Without a
degree
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,
one
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 cannot practice or excel in
this
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 kind of job.
Thus
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, it is true that a college
degree
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 is vital to accomplishing
career
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 goals and being successful in life. In conclusion,
although
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one
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 can achieve success without a university
degree
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 by acquiring knowledge through real-life experiences,
this
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 is not always the case for the particular types of jobs that people pursue in life. I think for handling
such
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 type of work, it is essential to have a tertiary
education
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 to achieve
career
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 milestones in the profession.
Submitted by harini93.ind on

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Task Achievement
Task Achievement: Your essay addresses the task well by discussing both views and offering an opinion. However, to score higher, provide a more developed argument with clear, comprehensive examples that directly support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion. To improve, aim for better connectivity between your ideas and ensure each paragraph flows naturally into the next with coherent use of linking phrases and topic sentences.
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