Prision is a common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to give people with a better education. Do you agree or disagree?
Prison
is a common way
that used
all around the world in different countries, to punish Add a missing verb
is used
the
criminals that against the Correct article usage
apply
law
, as a negative reinforcement way
that take
away Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
certain
amount of freedom of the Add an article
a certain
prisoners
, intended to stop the criminals from breaking the law
again. However
, there have
plenty of cases Verb problem
are
Change preposition
in that
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
people
against
the Add a missing verb
are against
law
again even after they are released from the
jail, which indicates that Correct article usage
apply
with
only Change preposition
apply
prison
may not be the perfect way
to solve the issue of crime
. In my opinion, I do not think that we can solve the problem just my
limiting their freedom and Correct your spelling
by
lock
them up, the key point should be Wrong verb form
locking
let
the Fix the infinitive
to let
prisoners
to
have Change the verb form
apply
better
Correct article usage
a better
education
in order to empower them to makes
choices to make a living without breaking the Wrong verb form
make
law
.
First,
it should be concerned that the prisoner
are Fix the agreement mistake
prisoners
also
the one
that need help. No one would choose to play Correct pronoun usage
ones
this
high-stakes game to become a
Change the article
an
outlawer
, Correct your spelling
outlaw
outlawed
lets
say they Replace the word
let's
let us
maybe
forced by some gang to distribute drugs and Correct your spelling
may be
not
able to resist, or they have no skills and jobs Add a missing verb
are not
therefore
they have to go for
pickpocket or Change preposition
apply
robbing
in order to make a living. In these Replace the word
rob
case
, if the Fix the agreement mistake
cases
people
get caught and send
to jail for a period of time but without proper Wrong verb form
sent
education
nothing will Add a comma
education,
changes
, they are still Change the verb form
change
the
hopeless Correct article usage
apply
people
that
may be forced to commit Correct pronoun usage
who
crime
again.
SoFix the agreement mistake
crimes
that
, Correct pronoun usage
apply
let
the Wrong verb form
letting
prisoners
to
have a chance to change themselves is essential. with the above Change the verb form
apply
examole
, maybe there can be Correct your spelling
example
education
about how to seek for
help to get rid of the control of gang or like having some course that helps Change preposition
apply
people
to obtain a cetain
kind of skills to make them capable Correct your spelling
certain
for
some Change preposition
of
specfic
jobs Correct your spelling
specific
hat
can support basic living needs. Just locking the Correct your spelling
that
prisoners
up without education
is useless, nothing will changes
, we need Wrong verb form
change
education
to empower the prisoners
to changes
by themselves, Wrong verb form
change
to
have the ability and choice to not commit Correct word choice
and to
crime
.
It is Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
undeliable
that Correct your spelling
undeniable
unreliable
prison
is a good way
to stop people
commit crimes again by locking them up to limit there
freedom. Replace the word
their
However
, education
is the a
important factor in order to make Choose an article
an
long term
positive Add a hyphen
long-term
effect
, prisoner are Fix the agreement mistake
effects
also
people
in need, we
can empower them Correct word choice
and we
by
Change preposition
with
education
, that is
the only method to actually maked
change, to have the probability and hope to ease the issue of Correct your spelling
make
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
crime
. Prison
without proer educaton
to support Correct your spelling
proper education
are
just meaningless and Correct subject-verb agreement
is
waste
of resources, Correct article usage
a waste
educatinis
the key.Correct your spelling
education
Submitted by asllchkied on
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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay could benefit from a clearer organizational structure. Consider using clear paragraph divisions and transition words to enhance coherence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and flows logically to support your main argument.
Task Achievement
The essay should present more specific examples to strengthen the arguments.
Task Achievement
Clarify and elaborate on your ideas to enhance clarity and depth of response.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task and makes a clear argument regarding the limitations of prison without education for rehabilitation.
Task Achievement
You identify the humane aspect of prisoners needing support and opportunities for change, which adds depth to the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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