Prision is a common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to give people with a better education. Do you agree or disagree?
Prison
is a common Use synonyms
way
that Use synonyms
used
all around the world in different countries, to punish Add a missing verb
is used
the
criminals that against the Correct article usage
apply
law
, as a negative reinforcement Use synonyms
way
that Use synonyms
take
away Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
certain
amount of freedom of the Add an article
a certain
prisoners
, intended to stop the criminals from breaking the Use synonyms
law
again. Use synonyms
However
, there Linking Words
have
plenty of cases Verb problem
are
Change preposition
in that
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
people
Use synonyms
against
the Add a missing verb
are against
law
again even after they are released from Use synonyms
the
jail, which indicates that Correct article usage
apply
with
only Change preposition
apply
prison
may not be the perfect Use synonyms
way
to solve the issue of Use synonyms
crime
. In my opinion, I do not think that we can solve the problem just Use synonyms
my
limiting their freedom and Correct your spelling
by
lock
them up, the key point should be Wrong verb form
locking
let
the Fix the infinitive
to let
prisoners
Use synonyms
to
have Change the verb form
apply
better
Correct article usage
a better
education
in order to empower them to Use synonyms
makes
choices to make a living without breaking the Wrong verb form
make
law
.
Use synonyms
First,
it should be concerned that the Linking Words
prisoner
are Fix the agreement mistake
prisoners
also
the Linking Words
one
that need help. No one would choose to play Correct pronoun usage
ones
this
high-stakes game to become Linking Words
a
Change the article
an
outlawer
, Correct your spelling
outlaw
outlawed
lets
say they Replace the word
let's
let us
maybe
forced by some gang to distribute drugs and Correct your spelling
may be
not
able to resist, or they have no skills and jobs Add a missing verb
are not
therefore
they have to go Linking Words
for
pickpocket or Change preposition
apply
robbing
in order to make a living. In these Replace the word
rob
case
, if the Fix the agreement mistake
cases
people
get caught and Use synonyms
send
to jail for a period of time but without proper Wrong verb form
sent
Use synonyms
education
nothing will Add a comma
education,
changes
, they are still Change the verb form
change
the
hopeless Correct article usage
apply
people
Use synonyms
that
may be forced to commit Correct pronoun usage
who
Use synonyms
crime
again.
SoFix the agreement mistake
crimes
that
, Correct pronoun usage
apply
let
the Wrong verb form
letting
prisoners
Use synonyms
to
have a chance to change themselves is essential. with the above Change the verb form
apply
examole
, maybe there can be Correct your spelling
example
education
about how to seek Use synonyms
for
help to get rid of the control of gang or like having some course that helps Change preposition
apply
people
to obtain a Use synonyms
cetain
kind of skills to make them capable Correct your spelling
certain
for
some Change preposition
of
specfic
jobs Correct your spelling
specific
hat
can support basic living needs. Just locking the Correct your spelling
that
prisoners
up without Use synonyms
education
is useless, nothing will Use synonyms
changes
, we need Wrong verb form
change
education
to empower the Use synonyms
prisoners
to Use synonyms
changes
by themselves, Wrong verb form
change
to
have the ability and choice to not commit Correct word choice
and to
Use synonyms
crime
.
It is Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
undeliable
that Correct your spelling
undeniable
unreliable
prison
is a good Use synonyms
way
to stop Use synonyms
people
commit crimes again by locking them up to limit Use synonyms
there
freedom. Replace the word
their
However
, Linking Words
education
is Use synonyms
the a
important factor in order to make Choose an article
an
long term
positive Add a hyphen
long-term
effect
, prisoner are Fix the agreement mistake
effects
also
Linking Words
people
in need, Use synonyms
we
can empower them Correct word choice
and we
by
Change preposition
with
education
, Use synonyms
that is
the only method to actually Linking Words
maked
change, to have the probability and hope to ease the issue of Correct your spelling
make
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
crime
. Use synonyms
Prison
without Use synonyms
proer educaton
to support Correct your spelling
proper education
are
just meaningless and Correct subject-verb agreement
is
waste
of resources, Correct article usage
a waste
educatinis
the key.Correct your spelling
education
Submitted by asllchkied on
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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay could benefit from a clearer organizational structure. Consider using clear paragraph divisions and transition words to enhance coherence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and flows logically to support your main argument.
Task Achievement
The essay should present more specific examples to strengthen the arguments.
Task Achievement
Clarify and elaborate on your ideas to enhance clarity and depth of response.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task and makes a clear argument regarding the limitations of prison without education for rehabilitation.
Task Achievement
You identify the humane aspect of prisoners needing support and opportunities for change, which adds depth to the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.