The Government should be responsible for providing retirees with financial support and care. Whole many people think that citizens should save money to take care of themselves when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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There are ongoing debates about whether governments should provide financial aid to retired workers or whether
individuals
Use synonyms
should be responsible for saving money to secure their future.
This
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essay will explore both perspectives and their underlying reasons. On one hand, the government has a responsibility to support the elderly, as their income often declines significantly
while
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their healthcare and daily expenses increase.
This
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is particularly true for those living alone or still financially supporting their families without sufficient savings.
For example
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, in many developing countries, retired
individuals
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continue to provide for their children or grandchildren, despite their limited resources. Providing financial aid, particularly for essential services like healthcare, can greatly alleviate their financial burden and improve their quality of life.
On the other hand
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, some believe that workers should prepare for their retirement by saving throughout their careers.
This
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perspective stems from the reality that older people may live independently as younger generations move away.
Additionally
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, many advocate for the idea that parents or elderly
individuals
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should not rely on their children for financial support. To address
this
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, workers are encouraged to allocate a portion of their income to retirement savings, reducing the likelihood of becoming a financial burden on the next generation.
This
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proactive approach helps break the cycle of the "sandwich generation," where younger family members face financial strain from supporting both their children and parents. In conclusion,
while
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it is crucial for governments to provide some financial support to retirees, it should be well-regulated and balanced to ensure sustainability. At the same time,
individuals
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should take personal responsibility for preparing for their future, fostering greater independence and reducing the strain on younger generations.
Submitted by nabilah.sasa09 on

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task achievement
Provide more diverse examples to support your points. This will help in making your argument more convincing and relatable.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your opinion is clearly stated, and consider reinforcing it in the conclusion for greater impact.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both perspectives, which shows a good understanding of the complexity of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is clear, with well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Logical transitions between points and paragraphs make the essay easy to follow.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • government responsibility
  • financial support
  • care
  • retirees
  • personal responsibility
  • retirement planning
  • social security
  • pension
  • benefits
  • concerns
  • dependency
  • adequate savings
  • elderly citizens
  • burden
  • welfare system
  • poverty
  • social safety net
  • financial stability
  • public funds
  • sustainable
  • reliable
  • case study
  • Japan
  • Sweden
  • United States
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