The Government should be responsible for providing retirees with financial support and care. Whole many people think that citizens should save money to take care of themselves when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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There are ongoing debates about whether governments should provide financial aid to retired workers or whether

individuals

Use synonyms

should be responsible for saving money to secure their future.

This

Linking Words

essay will explore both perspectives and their underlying reasons. On one hand, the government has a responsibility to support the elderly, as their income often declines significantly

while

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their healthcare and daily expenses increase.

This

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is particularly true for those living alone or still financially supporting their families without sufficient savings.

For example

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, in many developing countries, retired

individuals

Use synonyms

continue to provide for their children or grandchildren, despite their limited resources. Providing financial aid, particularly for essential services like healthcare, can greatly alleviate their financial burden and improve their quality of life.

On the other hand

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, some believe that workers should prepare for their retirement by saving throughout their careers.

This

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perspective stems from the reality that older people may live independently as younger generations move away.

Additionally

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, many advocate for the idea that parents or elderly

individuals

Use synonyms

should not rely on their children for financial support. To address

this

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, workers are encouraged to allocate a portion of their income to retirement savings, reducing the likelihood of becoming a financial burden on the next generation.

This

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proactive approach helps break the cycle of the "sandwich generation," where younger family members face financial strain from supporting both their children and parents. In conclusion,

while

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it is crucial for governments to provide some financial support to retirees, it should be well-regulated and balanced to ensure sustainability. At the same time,

individuals

Use synonyms

should take personal responsibility for preparing for their future, fostering greater independence and reducing the strain on younger generations.

nabilah.sasa09Sun Nov 24 2024

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task achievement

Provide more diverse examples to support your points. This will help in making your argument more convincing and relatable.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your opinion is clearly stated, and consider reinforcing it in the conclusion for greater impact.

task achievement

The essay provides a balanced discussion of both perspectives, which shows a good understanding of the complexity of the topic.

coherence cohesion

The structure of the essay is clear, with well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Logical transitions between points and paragraphs make the essay easy to follow.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

government responsibility
financial support
care
retirees
personal responsibility
retirement planning
social security
pension
benefits
concerns
dependency
adequate savings
elderly citizens
burden
welfare system
poverty
social safety net
financial stability
public funds
sustainable
reliable
case study
Japan
Sweden
United States

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The Government should be responsible for providing retirees with financial support and care. Whole many people think that citizens should save money to take care of themselves when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Your opinion

Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen, pencil or brush. What are the reasons for this? Is the decline in writing by hand a positive or negative development?

In their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasizes that their products are new in some way. Why is this ? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?