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Writing Samples /
Band 7

The government is spending a lot of money to discover life on other planets. Some people think that the government is wasting money and should spend more money addressing the problems of the public. To what extent do you agree?

#government #money #life #planets #people
In today’s world , with the advanced technology government started to put huge
resources
 into exploring a possible life on another planet.
Consequently
, the society got furious, and they believe that the country should focus on the nation’s issues.
Thus
, in
this
 essay, I will illustrate my point of view and elaborate on it. The government started their search
due to
 the expectation that Earth would be polluted in the future, reaching the point that hardly anyone can have a healthy life on it.
Therefore
, I’m convinced that it is a waste of time and
resources
 , and the concerned authorities must allocate these
resources
 and direct them towards solving the problems of society. To illustrate, authorities should put more money into minimizing the effect of climate change ,
this
 can be done by reducing greenhouse emissions, and there are different solutions to do that.
For instance
, starting to consume more renewable energy sources,
such
 as solar and wind power, rather than fossil fuels, like oil and coal, to lower global warming.
Furthermore
, increasing agricultural productivity, to face the expected shortage of food in the future, can be achieved by different approaches.
For example
, the usage of polyculture method
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
is the cultivation of multiple crops in the same area,
such
 as planting carrots with onions. Another example is increasing the husbandry practice To ensure that the number of livestock is boosted and to guarantee the availability of food in the coming years. In conclusion, the government must not waste time and money on exploring any sign of life on another planet.
By contrast
, they should all allocate the
resources
 to improve agricultural productivity and scale down the effect of climate change,
this
 will lead to a healthy growth in the future on planet Earth
Submitted by monther.y.z.090 on

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task response
The essay provides a clear standpoint on the issue, but there's room for more in-depth exploration of both perspectives on the topic, which would enrich your argument and analysis.
coherence and cohesion
The ideas are clear and well-linked, though a more explicit transition between paragraphs would enhance the flow and comprehensibility of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay effectively introduces the topic and has a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points.
task achievement
The writer offers specific examples to support their argument, such as using renewable energy sources and the polyculture method in agriculture.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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