You have recently moved to a new neighbourhood and would like to join a sports centre there. You have found a private sports club. Write a letter to the manager of the sports club. In your letter, •introduce yourself •say why are you interested in this sports club •ask some questions about the club e.g facilities, membership, costs etc.

#neighbourhood #sports #centre #club #manager #•introduce #•say #•ask #questions #e #g #facilities #membership #costs

Dear Sir, I hope you are doing well .I am writing

this

letter to get some information about your sports

club

. I heard a lot of positive feedback from my friends who are only members of your

club

. My name is Jaspreet and I am

26-year-old

Add an article

a 26-year-old

show examples

woman. I recently moved from Surrey and looking for a sports

club

where I can start playing games. I am a hockey player since 2000. I would like to join your

club

to continue my hobby. The most important thing is that your centre is near to my home so no travelling will be needed for me to come to your place.

Moreover

also

want to know the facilities you provide and what is the membership cost for one person. I was wondering if I could get a discount if possible because my husband will

also

join me. I hope I will get a good response from you very soon. yours sincerely Jass

Submitted by jass.sekhon4693 on Thu Aug 15 2024

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task achievement

Try to proofread your letter for small grammatical mistakes, such as missing articles or incorrect prepositions, to improve clarity and correctness.

coherence cohesion

Work on refining the structure of your paragraphs to further enhance clarity and readability. Consider breaking up longer sentences or combining shorter ones logically.

task achievement

You provided a clear introduction and stated your interest in the sports club, which is important for addressing the task effectively.

task achievement

Your letter is polite and appropriately formal, which is suitable for the intended audience and purpose.

coherence cohesion

The paragraphs in your letter address distinct ideas, contributing to a logical structure and better coherence.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

159 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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