Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Although
many argue that the acquisition of historical knowledge matters to pupils the most, I do not agree with
this
assumption because
this
expertise shows a lack of technical skills, and I believe that the pursuit of scientific and technological fields of study brings added benefits, as
this
enhances people’s career prospects. On the one hand, those who advocate for the fact that learning about past events is of utmost significance insist that it is unrivalled for its ethical values that are supposed to be handed down to future generations.
Similarly
,
such
priceless traits as patriotism, gratitude and a sense of belonging instil the youth responsibility and resolution in both preserving established indigenous culture and defending national sovereignty.
However
,
this
argument is not sound enough to label History as a key subject, since the lessons passed down do not foster the practical expertise that learners need to survive in today’s competitive market.
For example
, competence in English helps students to apply for a scholarship, which rarely occurs in historical intelligence.
On the other hand
, it is more reasonable to claim that individuals who have experimental proficiency and the ability to carry out AI research are more likely to thrive in a fierce job market.
In other words
, these areas enable candidates not only to engage in the era where the public honours machinery but
also
to possess necessary skills that boost their eligibility, which altogether provides them with more chances to land a decent job. Tesla,
for instance
, has recently favoured employees who can decipher the code and fix bugs in cars in order to assist them in accelerating the project of self-driving vehicles.
Therefore
, I agree with the view that having a command of the Science and Technology subjects is a must for the aforementioned reason. In conclusion,
while
History plays a crucial role in the curriculum area, Science and Technology subjects are unparalleled in terms of employment possibilities.
Submitted by banhbao0565 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on providing a stronger logical progression throughout the essay. Ensure that each paragraph clearly links to the next. Consider using more transition words and phrases to enhance the flow of your writing.
task achievement
While your ideas are generally clear, some sentences could be expressed more effectively to avoid confusion. Revising for clarity and conciseness would help make the essay smoother to read.
task achievement
Your essay touches well on both sides of the argument, but further elaboration and clearer connection between points and examples would enhance the essay. Aim to balance supporting points and counterarguments better.
coherence cohesion
You provide a well-structured introduction and conclusion, making your essay easy to navigate. These sections clearly state your stance and summarize the discussion effectively.
task achievement
You use relevant examples to support your points, such as the reference to Tesla’s employment practices. This helps illustrate your arguments and makes them more concrete.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • Historical perspective
  • Analytical skills
  • Contextual understanding
  • Technological advancements
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics)
  • Innovation
  • Interdisciplinary
  • Job market
  • Climate crisis
  • Cultural identity
  • Critical thinking
  • Humanities
  • Contemporary issues
  • Integration
  • Tech-savvy
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