IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that governments should have access to people’s mobile phone call records and messages for safety reasons. Others believe that this information is private and should not be available without permission. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #governments #access #people’s #phone #records #messages #safety #information #permission
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It is thought that personal
information
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 like phone call records and messages should be shared with
governments
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due to
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 safety.
In contrast
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, some people think that personal
information
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 ought to remain private if
governments
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 do not have
permissions
Fix the agreement mistake
permission
show examples
. I agree with the latter opinion, but I think that
governments
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 should have
permissions
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permission
show examples
 in some cases. On one hand, giving
governments
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access
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 to people's private
information
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 is surely the fastest and simplest way to prevent harmful activities.
For example
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, the police should be more effective
on
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in
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 preventing online bullying or criminal activities.
However
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, sharing these types of
information
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 with the police or the
government
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 can be considered
as
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apply
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a violation of the right
of
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to
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freedome
Correct your spelling
freedom
 that everyone has. No one can be sure that
these
Change the determiner
this information
show examples
information
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 will not be used by
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government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 in an unconstitutional way.
Moreover
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, nowadays hackers are able to steal online
information
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, and
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government
Correct article usage
the government
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 cannot ensure their safety.
On the other hand
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, someone
believe
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believes
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 that
Correct article usage
the goverment
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goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should not have
this
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access
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 without permission. Personally, I agree with
this
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 point of view. In my opinion, mobile phone call records, messages, and any other kind of online personal
information
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 ought to be available to
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government
Add an article
the government
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 only in certain situations.
For instance
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, the police might need
access
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 to some
information
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while
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 investigating a case in order to prevent
a
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apply
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danger or simply solve the case, and I think that in
such
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 situations they must have permission. In conclusion, I disagree with those who say that
governments
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 should always have
access
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 to people's private
information
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becuase
Correct your spelling
because
 I consider that unethical.
Instead
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, I think that
access
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 should be given
them
Change preposition
to them
show examples
 only in case of real need.
Submitted by alessandrorepola.repola on

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