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Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays people believe that governments should invest tax-payers money in healthcare while others believe that money should be used in other areas Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

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Nowadays many people think that the
government
 must spend the
money
 of
tax-payers
 to improve the
healthcare
system
.
On the other hand
, some people believe that the
country
's authority should apply
this
money
 to another part of social life. Now I will write about two sides of
this
 situation and
then
 give my own opinion. Currently, some people believe that if the
government
 invests
money
 of
tax-payers
 in
healthcare
, It will be beneficial work for all community and their generation.
For example
 in 2000 the
government
 of Singapore spent a lot of cash to improve of
healthcare
 sector. They bought special cars and modern technologies, built very modern hospitals, and taught specialists to work in the
healthcare
system
. Result of those works today Singapore's
healthcare
 sector is very strong in the world. But some populations think spending billions on other important parts of social life like education and the army is the best way. They say that investing the
money
 of
tax-payers
 in only one field
such
 as to
healthcare
system
 is false.
For instance
, the
government
 of Samanid
country
 has spent the
money
 of
tax-payers
 on the army field, construction
system
, education part, and
healthcare
system
 of social life in 990 years. The result of those that
country
 head has been very powerful during the 10th and 11th centuries in Central Asia. My own opinion is that in
this
 situation, the authority should invest
tax-payers
money
 in the essential sector of the
country
.
For example
, army first degree, education second level, and
healthcare
 third degree must be in our homeland. I can say that if we spend the
money
 of
tax-payers
 in these fields with high honesty, we will achieve very amazing results.
Submitted by Teo Halimov on

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task achievement
Try to develop each point of view more thoroughly to enhance clarity and demonstrate a comprehensive understanding.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all ideas are logically structured and connected with clear and varied transition words.
task achievement
The essay effectively discusses both points of view, and you're on the right track by including examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion provide a solid framework for the essay, making it easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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