Nowadays people believe that governments should invest tax-payers money in healthcare while others believe that money should be used in other areas Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

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Nowadays many people think that the
government
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must spend the
money
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of
tax-payers
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to improve the
healthcare
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system
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.
On the other hand
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, some people believe that the
country
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's authority should apply
this
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money
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to another part of social life. Now I will write about two sides of
this
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situation and
then
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give my own opinion. Currently, some people believe that if the
government
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invests
money
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of
tax-payers
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in
healthcare
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, It will be beneficial work for all community and their generation.
For example
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in 2000 the
government
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of Singapore spent a lot of cash to improve of
healthcare
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sector. They bought special cars and modern technologies, built very modern hospitals, and taught specialists to work in the
healthcare
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system
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. Result of those works today Singapore's
healthcare
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sector is very strong in the world. But some populations think spending billions on other important parts of social life like education and the army is the best way. They say that investing the
money
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of
tax-payers
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in only one field
such
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as to
healthcare
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system
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is false.
For instance
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, the
government
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of Samanid
country
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has spent the
money
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of
tax-payers
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on the army field, construction
system
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, education part, and
healthcare
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system
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of social life in 990 years. The result of those that
country
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head has been very powerful during the 10th and 11th centuries in Central Asia. My own opinion is that in
this
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situation, the authority should invest
tax-payers
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money
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in the essential sector of the
country
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.
For example
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, army first degree, education second level, and
healthcare
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third degree must be in our homeland. I can say that if we spend the
money
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of
tax-payers
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in these fields with high honesty, we will achieve very amazing results.
Submitted by Teo Halimov on

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task achievement
Try to develop each point of view more thoroughly to enhance clarity and demonstrate a comprehensive understanding.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all ideas are logically structured and connected with clear and varied transition words.
task achievement
The essay effectively discusses both points of view, and you're on the right track by including examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion provide a solid framework for the essay, making it easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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