IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

some people think that in a city,the best way to travel is by car ,while other people think that bicycle are a better way of travelling in the city give reasons to answers

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In modern urban life, transportation plays a vital role in daily routines.
While
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 some argue that
cars
Use synonyms
 are the best way to travel in cities, others believe
bicycles
Use synonyms
 are superior. Both modes of transport have distinct advantages and challenges, making the choice largely dependent on individual priorities and city infrastructure.
Firstly
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,
Cars
Use synonyms
 offer convenience, speed, and comfort, particularly for long distances or when travelling with heavy loads. They are well suited for people with tight schedules, as they save time compared to slower forms of transport.
For Example
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, in Lagos, the mega city where a lot of heavy equipment is imported for commercial usage using
cars
Use synonyms
 to convey them is more convenient and comfortable.
Additionally
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,
cars
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 protect us from weather conditions, making them more reliable in rain or extreme temperatures.
However
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, in the same Lagos city,
cars
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 contribute significantly to traffic congestion and pollution, especially in densely populated urban areas.
On the other hand
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,
bicycles
Use synonyms
 are eco-friendly, economical, and promote a healthy lifestyle. They are ideal for short commutes, allowing riders to bypass traffic and reach their destination faster during peak hours. Cycling produces no emissions, contributing to cleaner air and reducing the environmental impact of transportation just like was reported by an environmental expert at the University of Nigeria about the benefits of cyclists to Nigeria .
Furthermore
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,
bicycles
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 require minimal parking space and have lower maintenance costs.
However
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, cycling has limitations, including exposure to weather conditions and physical strain. In conclusion, choosing between
cars
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 and
bicycles
Use synonyms
 depends on distance, infrastructure, and individual needs. Cities with well-developed cycling networks can encourage more people to adopt
bicycles
Use synonyms
, improving urban mobility and sustainability.
However
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, despite their drawbacks,
cars
Use synonyms
 remain a practical choice for those needing speed and convenience.

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task achievement
Your essay does a good job of addressing the prompt, providing a balanced view of both cars and bicycles. However, try to include more specific examples and some statistics or data to support your ideas better.
coherence and cohesion
You maintain a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To improve coherence, use transition words to link your ideas more fluidly between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
You provide a balanced perspective on both sides of the argument, which effectively demonstrates your understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion which frames the essay well.
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