Students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is thought that the full cost of
students
’ study should be paid by themselves
due to
its advantages just for
students
instead
of the community.
This
writer strongly disagrees with
this
statement to some extent. Admittedly, there are many reasons why some argue that governments should not support the tuition of
students
. Chief of these is that some of them nowadays tend to study overseas and work in another country.
Therefore
, their mother nation has not received any contribution from them.
Moreover
, many social and global issues still exist
such
as many children do not have enough water to drink or that many workers are employed.
As a result
, spending money on other aspects of society is more feasible
instead
. Despite the drawbacks mentioned above, investing money in studies is more considerable. Indeed, most
students
study and work in the country training them because of the language barrier and the familiar living conditions.
Thus
, that nation may have a huge number of high-quality employees.
Furthermore
, giving the poor a chance to access education can
also
contribute positively to the community. Evidently,
this
can improve the general literacy rate, meaning that the citizens can know how to teach their children properly
as well as
reduce the criminal rate since they know what is true and false before acting. In conclusion, given that paying for
students
’ fees is wasteful and
this
money can be used for other fields that are beneficial for society, I do understand why some agree with
this
opinion.
However
,
this
can provide many good
students
for work and enhance their literacy, indirectly having a positive impact on people's lives.

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task achievement
Make sure your essay directly addresses all parts of the task. It would be beneficial to clarify your stance at the beginning more explicitly and maintain that clarity throughout.
task achievement
For supporting examples, use more specific instances or data to back up your arguments. This will strengthen your case and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Try to ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs. While your essay's structure is clear, smoother transitions can further enhance readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
While you provide a good introduction and conclusion, ensuring each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence can help with the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay.
task achievement
You have done well in providing a balanced view by presenting both sides of the argument, which is commendable for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-structured, providing a clear overview of your essay's purpose and summarizing your viewpoints effectively.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • beneficiary
  • accountability
  • economic mobility
  • social inequalities
  • subsidized education
  • vocational training
  • deliberate choice
  • earning potential
  • public funding
  • societal benefits
  • innovation
  • self-financing
  • social mobility
  • economic equality
  • grants
  • scholarships
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