All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity and how could it be tackled?

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Nations worldwide are dealing with the ever-increasing issue of obesity. The primary cause of
this
issue stems from the over-consumption of fast
food
which could possibly be solved with the implementation of a government tax on fast
food
. One of the focal reasons
that is
leading people to become overweight these days is that they are eating more junk
food
, ready meals and convenience
food
rather than cooking healthy meals at home.
This
is because many people tend to lead a busy life, and after a long day at work it is easier to just buy inexpensive ready meals in the supermarket or get some takeaway.
For instance
, in the UK, sales of these types of
foods
have risen considerably since the 1990s,
this
is
due to
busy people seeing cooking at home as time-consuming
while
also
being attracted to the price point offered. To tackle the ease of accessing unhealthy
foods
, the government should take steps to increase the tax on
high fat
Add a hyphen
high-fat
show examples
, high sugar or unhealthy
foods
altogether. The rationale behind
this
concept is to take the already affordable, yet damaging
food
and put it into a category of luxury
foods
with the price alone. By
implanting
Verb problem
implementing
show examples
this
change, society and individuals would be forced to look at healthier alternatives, perhaps even being encouraged to cook at home and ultimately those at risk of obesity would
therefore
think twice about the
foods
they consume, which could lead to them losing weight. In conclusion, being overweight is a global issue because of the high consumption of fast
foods
, convenience
foods
and the low cost. The government needs to look at taxing fast
food
so as to push the populous towards nutritious
foods
if there is to be hope for
tomorrows
Change noun form
tomorrow's
show examples
future.
Submitted by AE Gay lord on

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task achievement
Consider offering more varied reasons for the rise in obesity, such as lifestyle changes beyond just fast food consumption, to give a fuller picture.
task achievement
Work on expanding your ideas with more detailed examples or elaboration. This would help in making your essay more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs to achieve greater coherence.
task achievement
The essay clearly identifies a major cause of obesity and proposes a feasible solution.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the essay's argument.
task achievement
The examples provided are relevant and help to illustrate your points.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Obesity epidemic
  • Processed foods
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Caloric intake
  • Public health issue
  • Nutritional value
  • Food accessibility
  • Screen time
  • Healthy diet
  • Nutritional education
  • Subsidies for healthy foods
  • Wellness programs
  • Physical inactivity
  • Public awareness campaigns
  • Government policies
  • Sugar tax
  • Nutrient-dense
  • Body Mass Index (BMI)
  • Fast food consumption
  • Lifestyle changes
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