IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Scientists use living animal to carry out research. Some people think it is interesting, while some other people think it is cruel. What is your opinion?

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It is a contentious and important problem whether we should base research on the usage of
animals
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 or not. Some believe that it is the best way to avoid harming
people
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.
However
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, I concur that it is unacceptable to do tests on any being.
To begin
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 with, we need to test each experiment.
For example
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, before selling a new cosmetic, it has to be checked on multiple skin types.
Nevertheless
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,
people
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 are not willing to be volunteers for
such
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 a task.
Therefore
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, many companies use
animals
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 who have no freedom of speech to refuse to be tested. If a company decides to use them, the process of creating a product will be much quicker than their pet-friendly competition.
This
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 advantage is tempting for many entrepreneurs.
On the other hand
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, it is certain that hurting any creature is cruel. In my opinion, it should be punished.
For instance
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, the government should set a financial penalty for
such
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 action. Consumers who support abusing
animals
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 should pay more, not less, for purchasing objects.
Consequently
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, they would not get the prior benefit from buying animal-tested things because they would not be so cheap anymore.
To sum up
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, not only
people
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,
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apply
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 but
also
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animals
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 should not be abused by scientists. It is not ethical to use entities as testing objects. It may cause serious side effects and bring lots of pain. I opt for looking for unconventional methods. I think it is better to ask
people
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 who are about to die rather than those who have a full life ahead to be tested.

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task achievement
Use more specific and relevant examples to enhance your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all main points are thoroughly supported with evidence or examples.
task achievement
Make sure to clearly outline your stance in the introduction, so that the response feels more complete.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in understanding your perspective.
task achievement
You have stated your opinion clearly, which is central to the task response.
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