Some people think that increasing the number of sports facilities is the best way to improve public health. Others believe that this would not have much effect and that other measures are needed. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Public
health
Use synonyms
is a growing concern, with many countries reporting increasing levels of obesity.
While
Linking Words
some argue that adding more sports
facilities
Use synonyms
is the key to addressing
this
Linking Words
issue, others believe that
this
Linking Words
alone is insufficient. A closer examination will help in assessing these perspectives. Adding sports
facilities
Use synonyms
is often seen as a promising solution.
This
Linking Words
proposal assumes that the primary reason people are unhealthy is the lack of access to exercise opportunities.
However
Linking Words
, public
health
Use synonyms
problems are usually caused by a combination of factors, and inactivity is just one of them. Other issues,
such
Linking Words
as poor diet, work-related stress, and limited time, play significant roles.
Additionally
Linking Words
, sophisticated equipment is not always necessary for fitness; activities like walking or running outdoors can achieve similar benefits.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
the availability of
facilities
Use synonyms
is important, increasing their number may not solve deeper
health
Use synonyms
issues.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, improving public
health
Use synonyms
requires broader measures. If people struggle to find time for self-care, society must encourage a cultural shift.
This
Linking Words
includes emphasizing the value of taking breaks from work and prioritizing
health
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, promoting balanced diets by educating individuals on nutritious cooking and discouraging reliance on fast food can be effective. These steps require time and effort and may not be viable for everyone, especially those with inflexible work schedules.
Thus
Linking Words
, addressing public
health
Use synonyms
challenges demands a comprehensive approach. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
adding sports
facilities
Use synonyms
may encourage some individuals to exercise, it is too simplistic a solution for complex
health
Use synonyms
problems. Effective strategies must include dietary improvements, stress reduction, and lifestyle changes. Tackling these challenges requires collective action and societal support.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or data to support your points about lifestyle changes or the effectiveness of sports facilities. For instance, mention a country or study where similar strategies were implemented.
task achievement
Ensure that your argument is balanced by slightly expanding on the point of view supporting the increase of sports facilities. This can help in achieving a more nuanced discussion.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear and comprehensive response to the task, effectively addressing both views and offering a personal opinion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay’s argument, making the overall structure clear and compelling.
coherence cohesion
The use of logical transitions between points ensures that the essay is coherent and flows smoothly.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: