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Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

#people #work #company #organization #be #case
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These days, some people try being self-employed
instead
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 of being an employee in a company or an organisation.
This
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 essay will analyze some reasons for
this
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 decision,
as well as
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 the downsides of being self-employed.
To begin
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 with, having your own business brings more flexible working hours,
moreover
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, people like to be their own boss.
On the other hand
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, income is an important reason for those who choose to not work for others. To clarify
this
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 point, considering a designer working for an advertisement studio, a partial part of the money that the customer pays is the company's share,
while
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 when there is no company, all the income is for the designer.
However
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, there might be some disadvantages,
initially
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, finding customers is not easy at the beginning, and it has a significant impact on earning money. An illustration of
this
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 is that a freelance photographer may not have projects for a month and
as a result
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 of that, there will be no payment
while
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 working in an organization
usually
Correct pronoun usage
that usually
show examples
 provides a regular salary no matter how many projects you do.
Additionally
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, there may be a high possibility of failing and being unemployed in self-employment. In conclusion, individuals like to work for themselves rather than others because of the more independence that it provides.
On the other hand
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, the downsides of
this
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 kind of job could be the risk of not being successful and not being paid regularly. It's a risk that many are willing to take, that sense of freedom and the chance to fully reap the rewards of your own hard work.
Submitted by Farzaneh Ka on

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coherence cohesion
To maximize coherence, utilize a range of cohesive devices beyond simple connectors. Consider more varied and complex structures to enhance the logical flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
In the introduction and conclusion, aim to paraphrase the question more effectively and clearly state your position to set the context for the essay.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that the main points are fully developed with ample support, complex arguments, and relevant examples. Consider expanding on the initial ideas presented to provide a more thorough exploration of the topic.
task achievement
Your essay could benefit from more detailed and specific examples to support the points made. This can make your arguments more persuasive and satisfying the requirements for task response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employed
  • company
  • organization
  • freedom
  • independence
  • income potential
  • flexibility
  • working hours
  • working location
  • passions
  • interests
  • decision-making
  • business practices
  • disadvantages
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