IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agre or disagree?

#people #teenagers #community #work #time #benefit #agre
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In recent years, the question of whether
teenagers
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 should participate in volunteer
community
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work
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 has sparked considerable debate. Some believe that
such
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 involvement enables adolescents to cultivate essential
skills
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 like
leadership
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 and
communication
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while
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also
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 contributing to society.
While
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 I partially agree with
this
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 perspective, I strongly believe that
leisure
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time
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 is vital for reducing
stress
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 and fostering self-improvement.
This
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 essay will explore the advantages of
community
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 engagement and emphasize the importance of personal downtime.
To begin
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 with, engaging in
community
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work
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 provides various benefits for young people.
Firstly
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, it allows them to gain teamwork experience and develop
leadership
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skills
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.
For instance
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, in Kazakhstan, many young volunteers participate in organizing the Nauryz celebrations, a national festival held every March. These volunteers guide visitors and help coordinate activities, which enables them to take on
leadership
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 roles and manage responsibilities effectively.
Secondly
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, volunteering enhances
teenagers
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'
communication
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skills
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 as they interact with a wide range of individuals.
For example
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, working with residents in nursing homes helps teens practice effective
communication
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 and express themselves more confidently.
Thus
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,
it is clear that
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community
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work
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 equips young people with invaluable
skills
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 for personal and professional growth.
However
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,
leisure
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time
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also
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 plays a crucial role in
teenagers
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' lives, particularly for
stress
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 relief and self-improvement. Academic demands,
such
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 as heavy workloads and tight deadlines, place significant pressure on students.
For example
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, a survey conducted in Kazakhstani schools revealed that 80% of students experience high levels of
stress
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due to
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 homework, leading to mental health challenges like anxiety and burnout.
This
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 highlights the necessity of free
time
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 for relaxation and emotional well-being.
Additionally
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,
leisure
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time
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 can be used for personal development,
such
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 as enrolling in extracurricular courses like language or art classes, which support academic and career aspirations. In conclusion,
while
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 participating in
community
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work
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 helps
teenagers
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 acquire valuable
skills
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 like
leadership
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 and
communication
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, I firmly believe that
leisure
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time
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 is essential for reducing
stress
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 and promoting self-improvement. Striking a balance between volunteering and recreation is key to fostering the holistic development of young individuals.
Submitted by pandatvin3 on

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cohesion coherence
Try to delve deeper into the potential challenges or downsides of requiring unpaid work, providing a more comprehensive analysis of the topic from both sides.
task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph logically flows to the next with transitional phrases to create an even smoother reading experience.
introduction conclusion present
The essay features a clear structure with a well-defined introduction and conclusion, which reinforce the main points effectively.
relevant specific examples
Articulate and relevant examples, such as the reference to Kazakhstani students, were used adeptly to substantiate key arguments.
clear comprehensive ideas
The points presented are clear and insightful, providing an in-depth exploration of the benefits of community work and the need for leisure.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • volunteer work
  • community service
  • sense of responsibility
  • skill development
  • social awareness
  • empathy
  • crowdsource ideas
  • societal issues
  • broaden perspective
  • admissions process
  • resume enrichment
  • community welfare
  • mandatory volunteering
  • personal choice
  • positive experience
What to do next:
Look at other essays: