IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some companies sponsor sport as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantagesDiscuss both views and give your opinion

#companies #sponsor #sport #people #disadvantagesdiscuss
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Sponsoring
sports
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 already common in antique nations, like patrons in gladiator
games
Use synonyms
 in the Roman Empire, but the expectation of advertising the sponsorer brand in return became popular in the
last
Linking Words
 decades. The merits are,
for instance
Linking Words
, companies can reach a wide range of people with sport.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, demerits include that, they can cancel any time their financial aid, which can ruin a
sports
Use synonyms
 group, and
also
Linking Words
 some brands advertise their products with the athletes, which have nothing related to
sports
Use synonyms
 sometimes.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the benefits and disadvantages of the statement above. First and foremost, let's talk about the advantages. There are countless fields in
sports
Use synonyms
, and every person is interested in one of them. Companies only have to find the
sports
Use synonyms
, which are watched by their goal audience, and they win the case. In my country, football
games
Use synonyms
 are really popular. My father has a favourite team, and we usually watch the
games
Use synonyms
 in the arena of the group. The billboards are always listed with the names of the
sponsors
Use synonyms
, which are attractive to most people and they end up choosing the service or products of the advertiser company.
Secondly
Linking Words
, let's discuss the disadvantages of the topic. As I mentioned before, some
sports
Use synonyms
 teams depend on these
sponsors
Use synonyms
, so they have to follow the words of the
sponsors
Use synonyms
, to not withdraw from the financial aid. I
also
Linking Words
 wrote that some brands even do commercials with the faces of the team and their products, even though it has nothing connected to
sports
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in the past months the face of the domestic McDonalds' was a football player, which is a bit absurd.
Overall
Linking Words
, in my point of view sponsoring
sports
Use synonyms
 is a good thing, but they have to be careful with the
sponsors
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by docents.steal_0z on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that all ideas are consistently focused and relevant to the topic. Consider refining examples to have a stronger link to the central argument.
coherence
Work on developing more seamless transitions between ideas and paragraphs to enhance the overall flow of the essay.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both the benefits and disadvantages of companies sponsoring sports for advertising.
coherence cohesion
The ideas are presented in a logical order, with a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Relevant examples are used to illustrate the main points, enhancing the clarity of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: