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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sports, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Sport plays a pivotal role in everyone’s life. Some parts of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people think that fitness is more important to be successful in sports,
while
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 others think mental stamina is necessary for the best results in sports. I would like to discuss both views and give my opinion
at the end
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 of the essay. First of all, physical stamina is important for success in the sport because, in some games,
players
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 have to be fast and quick on the ground. If a player is fully fit, they can give maximum effort
in
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on
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 the ground.
For example
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, in football, during some
matches
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matches,
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players
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 have to run continuously, so it is easy if the player is fully fit.
Furthermore
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,
fitness
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the fitness
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 of
players
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 reduces the chance of injuries. For the above reasons, people believe that fitness is necessary.
On the other hand
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, mental health plays a big role in sports because, in games,
players
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 need to
take
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make
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 decisions in high-pressure situations. At that time, calmness of mind plays a vital role.
For example
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, India won the 2011 Cricket World Cup in a pressure situation
due to
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players
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’ mental
strength
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. Another reason is that mental stability helps
players
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 to overcome injuries and stay motivated during playtime.
Moreover
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, mental stability
help
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helps
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players
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 to stay grounded after becoming
a
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apply
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famous in short periods.
This
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 is why people believe that mental
strength
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 is necessary. In conclusion, physical
strength
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 helps
players
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 to become fast and agile, and mental
strength
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 supports staying calm during pressure situations. So,
according to
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 my opinion,
players
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 need to develop both strengths to become successful in the game.

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using more varied and complex sentence structures to link ideas within and between paragraphs.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or anecdotes to support your points, particularly in the sections discussing physical strength and mental strength.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states the topic and outlines the structure of the essay.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and presents a clear opinion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • physical strength
  • endurance
  • athlete
  • performance
  • injury prevention
  • mental strength
  • pressure
  • focus
  • high-stakes situations
  • mental game
  • resilience
  • setbacks
  • recover
  • motivated
  • foundation
  • longevity
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