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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

People should follow the customs and traditions when people start to live in a new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #customs #traditions #country
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When individuals immigrate to another
country
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 they must conform to local cultures and duties .I completely agree with
this
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 point of view for a variety of justifiable reasons . First and foremost following the customs and traditions of a new
country
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 is an easy way to adapt.
Therefore
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 ,it is very interesting to get more information about the new
country
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 in which you want to live .
Besides
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 ,it enhances individuals' world view .
This
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 may bring them pleasant feelings and motivations to live and work away from their home
country
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 at the same time they have a chance to engage in cultures .If you follow all traditions
such
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 as wearing traditional costumes or eating local food in
this
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 case local local residents will be more polite to you.
For example
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 ,
according to
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 statistics from Musavat newspaper in 2005 people who know traditional new
country
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 live their whole lives there . Another compelling argument is that limited knowledge of local customs causes illegal actions in the new
country
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 .
This
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 leads to social isolation which has a negative impact on immigrant lives .
Moreover
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 ,with less information about culture, you can get fined and in worse conditions be deported .
For instance
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 , in Singapore one of the cleanest countries in the World, the residents treat their
country
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 very carefully and when they detect a foreigner littering the street, he will be fined and they will fine them $100. In conclusion ,I entirely support the view that newcomers should follow the new
country
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’s customs and traditions because it is essential for living in
this
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country
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 for a long time .
Submitted by huseynova.nigul on

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task achievement
Although you presented a clear thesis stating that you completely agree, consider elaborating slightly more on why you agree in your introduction to provide a stronger foundation for your essay.
task achievement
When discussing examples, try to ensure they directly support your arguments and are clearly relevant to the point being made.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. While your ideas are well-organized, improving the transitions could enhance the overall flow.
task achievement
The introduction clearly presents the writer's viewpoint, making it immediately obvious what stance the essay will take.
coherence cohesion
The essay is organized with a clear structure, including a distinct introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The use of examples, like the statistics from Musavat newspaper and the fine in Singapore, enriches the argument and provides specific instances of your point.
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