The graph below shows how elderly people in the United States spent their free time between 1980 and 201

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The line graph shows how older adults spent their leisure time from 1980 to 2010. It can be seen that senior citizens occupy themselves by mostly watching

Correct your spelling

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and hiking,

also

Linking Words

going to

theater

Change the spelling

theatre

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plays, and surfing the internet. Trekking has become popular with elders, despite the initial low percentage. The evidence is that it rocked from 20% and quadrupled to 80% , explaining they turned into hikers in over three decades.

Likewise

Linking Words

, technology development impacted them through the internet, exploring the social world has increased rapidly after the 2000s, reaching 50, despite being

initially

Linking Words

the lowest one.

Whereas

Linking Words

viewing television has slightly decreased to 65% , after being the frontrunner for 20 years, has become second.

Additionally

Linking Words

, reading and watching

production

Fix the agreement mistake

productions

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had

Wrong verb form

have

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been changing constantly

Change preposition

for

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30 years. Specifically, engaging with books has fluctuated up and down by 10%;

Linking Words

Fix capitalization

however

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However

Add a comma

However,

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it climbed to 60% after the 2000s.

Moreover

Linking Words

, live performance’s trendiness became stable after dipping

into

Change preposition

show examples

30% in the 1990s.

Overall

Linking Words

, retirees started to devote their personal time to hiking, reading, and surfing the internet. The trends of watching

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, and theater became stable in the period of

survey

Add an article

the survey

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. I believe that online has become part of their life.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, I predict that they tend to be healthy by walking in

mountains

Correct article usage

the mountains

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and wake

brains

Correct pronoun usage

their brains

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by studying.

Submitted by Ariunaa on Mon Dec 09 2024

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

218 words

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The graph below shows how elderly people in the United States spent their free time between 1980 and 201

Some people think students can evaluate their teachers while others think it may have some bad effects discuss. Do you agree or disagree?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some ways. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Lack of fresh water is becoming global issue of increasing importance. What problems does this shortage cause? What measures could be taken to overcome these problems?

Nowadays, more and more people are moving from the countryside to cities, which are becoming overcrowded. What are the reasons for this movement to cities and what are the effects?

consumer are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think are consumers influenced by advertisements? What measures can be taken to protect them?