Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.
In
this
day and age, there are lots of views about whether Linking Words
competition
is crucial or Use synonyms
cooporation
is preferred. Both factors have their own advantages and disadvantages that Correct your spelling
cooperation
corporation
also
depend on our attitude. The essay Linking Words
beneath
will point out Rephrase
below
this
opinion.
On the one hand, because of acting like a motivation, Linking Words
competition
highly contributes to our development. People tend to look up to successful individuals who are seen as Use synonyms
a
Correct article usage
apply
goal
or sometimes as components so they try to keep up Fix the agreement mistake
goals
as a result
they will be pushed up. Linking Words
For example
, Apple tries to release new smartphone models which include fashionable designs, upgraded cameras or stronger software to attract Linking Words
customer’s
attention. Fix the agreement mistake
customers’
In addition
, competing allows individuals to address their strengths and weaknesses in order to pick more appropriate opportunities for their promotion. Kylian Mbappe, a young talented football player, perceives that he has dominated speed so he uses that to defeat the defender who is not as fast as him.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, collaboration is Linking Words
also
a good method to reach a higher level. If individuals work together, they will get more chances to ensure productivity and efficiency. Almost Linking Words
big
factories need the balanced and stable contribution of all sectors to run fluently. Correct determiner usage
all big
Moreover
, teamwork creates a mutual environment in which members can be provided more opportunities to earn knowledge and practice skills from others in order to enhance their Linking Words
shortcoming
and Fix the agreement mistake
shortcomings
also
improve their hidden talents. Manchester City, one of the most dominant football clubs in England, organizes Linking Words
a
private training for their players so that players can improve their individual skills through a solo Correct article usage
apply
competition
.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
competition
and collaboration both have positive effects. The most effective way for people is Use synonyms
putting
themself into two sides.Change the verb form
to put
Submitted by dohuyhoang on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear understanding of the topic by discussing both competition and cooperation. However, ensure to clarify your stance more distinctly in the introduction to guide your reader clearly through the argument.
coherence cohesion
While examples such as Apple and Kylian Mbappé effectively illustrate your points, aim for smoother transitions between ideas to improve the overall flow and coherence of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the essay’s cohesion by using more connecting words and phrases to link your ideas within paragraphs. This will help in creating a logical structure that guides the reader smoothly through your points.
task achievement
You presented a balanced view by addressing both competition and cooperation, which effectively achieved the task's requirements.
task achievement
The examples provided, such as Apple and Manchester City, are relevant and specific, which strengthens your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay's introduction and conclusion successfully encapsulate the main themes and present a comprehensive overview of your analysis.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example