Some people think although countries with long average working hours are economically successful, this often has some negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Countries with long average working
hours
are often seen as economically successful
due to
higher productivity and output.
However
, I agree to a large extent that
while
this
may boost a nation’s economy, it often comes at a significant social cost.
This
essay will discuss how long working
hours
can lead to negative consequences for individuals, families, and society as a whole. There is no doubt that long working
hours
contribute to economic success. By spending more time at work, employees can produce more goods and services, which can increase a country’s GDP.
For example
, countries like Japan and South Korea, which are known for their long working
hours
, have achieved remarkable industrial growth and economic stability.
Moreover
, businesses benefit from increased productivity, which can attract foreign investment and boost competitiveness in global markets. Despite these economic benefits, long working
hours
can have serious social repercussions.
Firstly
, extended working
hours
reduce the time individuals can spend with their families, leading to strained relationships.
For instance
, studies in South Korea have shown that long workdays have contributed to higher divorce rates and declining birth rates, as people struggle to balance work and personal life.
Secondly
, the pressure of long
hours
can lead to physical and mental health issues. Overwork is often associated with stress, burnout, and even severe conditions
such
as heart disease.
For example
, the term "karoshi" in Japan refers to death caused by overwork, highlighting the extreme consequences of a culture that prioritizes work over well-being.
Finally
, long working
hours
can reduce
overall
societal happiness and social cohesion. People may have less time for community activities or leisure, which are essential for a balanced and fulfilling life. In conclusion,
while
long working
hours
may contribute to economic success, they often come at a significant social cost, including strained family relationships, health problems, and decreased societal well-being. I believe that countries should strive to achieve a balance between economic growth and the quality of life for their citizens. Policies promoting reasonable working
hours
can ensure both productivity and social harmony.
Submitted by larasati.sylvia41 on

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task achievement
Consider diversifying the examples to cover a broader spectrum of regions or industries rather than focusing primarily on Japan and South Korea.
coherence cohesion
Vary sentence structure slightly to maintain the reader's engagement throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion around the central issue.
task achievement
Each main point is well-developed and supported with relevant examples, making the argument persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Logical transitions between paragraphs enhance the flow of the essay, guiding the reader through the argument smoothly.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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