IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Young people are often influenced by their peers. This is called peer group pressure. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Young
people
Use synonyms
 are often influenced by their peers, which is known as
peer
Use synonyms
pressure
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 influence can sometimes cause stress or negative feelings, I believe that,
overall
Linking Words
, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. One drawback of
peer
Use synonyms
pressure
Use synonyms
 is that it can create unhealthy competition and stress. When young
people
Use synonyms
 constantly compare themselves with others, they may feel insecure or anxious about their own abilities.
For instance
Linking Words
, students who perform poorly compared to high-achieving classmates may lose confidence, especially when their parents or teachers
criticize
Change the spelling
criticise
show examples
 them
instead
Linking Words
 of offering support. In some cases,
this
Linking Words
 can even lead to depression or burnout.
However
Linking Words
,
peer
Use synonyms
 influence can
also
Linking Words
 be a powerful motivator. When young
people
Use synonyms
 see their peers succeed, they are often inspired to work harder and improve themselves.
For example
Linking Words
, in a classroom, students may strive to get better grades not only for personal satisfaction but
also
Linking Words
 to contribute to their group’s reputation.
Such
Linking Words
 motivation can foster perseverance, teamwork, and self-discipline. Importantly, with proper guidance from teachers and parents,
peer
Use synonyms
pressure
Use synonyms
 can be turned into a positive force that encourages growth and ambition rather than stress. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
peer
Use synonyms
pressure
Use synonyms
 can cause anxiety and unhealthy comparison, it
also
Linking Words
 helps young
people
Use synonyms
 become more motivated and resilient. With the right support, the advantages of
peer
Use synonyms
 influence clearly outweigh its disadvantages.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
State your view clearly in the first line of the essay. This helps the reader know your position right away.
task achievement
Give more facts or examples for each idea so the reader sees more proof for your point.
coherence cohesion
Use words that show a link between ideas, like also, but, however, for example, and then.
coherence cohesion
Start each paragraph with a clear idea and end with a sentence that links to the next idea.
coherence cohesion
Choose simple, real examples so the point is easy to see.
coherence cohesion
Make sure the ideas go one to the next in a smooth way and the story has a good flow.
task achievement
Clear view on the issue and balance between gains and loss.
coherence cohesion
Strong shape with an intro, body, and ending.
coherence cohesion
Use of examples helps to show each idea.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • peer
  • peers
  • group
  • pressure
  • influence
  • positive
  • negative
  • advantage
  • disadvantage
  • benefit
  • harm
  • choice
  • decision
  • safe
  • risk
  • study
  • work
  • class
  • club
  • team
  • belong
  • trust
  • help
  • advice
  • say no
  • self
  • confidence
  • future
  • model
  • example
  • rule
  • limit
  • agree
  • talk
What to do next:
Look at other essays: