IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that social media can provide people with reliable information and news. Others, however, disagree with this view. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #media #information #news
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There is no denying the fact that in today's fast-paced society, all
people
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 are using the internet significantly.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that social
media
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 are reliable sources of
information
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, there is
also
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 an argument that these websites are not the best portal to get verified
news
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.
This
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 essay will discuss
this
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 topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand, most
people
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 are using social
media
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accounts
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 and rely on them for reliable
news
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 because they believe that these are related to authorized personnel.
In addition
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, some worldwide
news
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 channels have social
media
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accounts
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, and they post their
news
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 directly even before it is posted on television.
For example
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, the announcement about the new Apple MacBook first came on a social
media
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 account.
On the other hand
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, many
people
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 are not relying on the
news
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 from social
media
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 because they think there is fabrication
on
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of
show examples
 it. It is
also
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 possible to say that these
news
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 channels'
accounts
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 sometimes get hacked and false
news
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 will be announced to the public.
Moreover
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, social
media
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 is not an appropriate source
for
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of
show examples
information
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 related to diseases and health.
For instance
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,
according to
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 recent research, many
people
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 exaggerate their symptoms after they read about their conditions
in
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on
show examples
 social
media
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accounts
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. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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 question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that
although
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 social
media
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 sometimes post unreliable
information
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, I think it is the main source of
information
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 in today's life
Submitted by jo on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. This might involve using more linking words or phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
Task Achievement
Try to develop your ideas further with more in-depth examples or explanations to strengthen your arguments.
Language Accuracy
Be cautious of minor grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement or misplaced modifiers. While they don't significantly impact comprehension, addressing them can polish your writing.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion that bookend the discussion well.
Task Achievement
You've effectively discussed both viewpoints related to social media as a source of information, showing a balanced understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
The use of examples, like the Apple MacBook announcement, adds relevance and specificity to your points.
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