Some believe that people today have no interest in maintaining the traditional culture of their country or region. Others believe that it is still important to people that we preserve a traditional way of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people feel that protecting the traditional

cultures

Use synonyms

of their own nations is less essential than introducing new

cultures

Use synonyms

into them. Others think that it is still more important to maintain their cultural norms and traditions than anything else. Even though there are pros and cons concerning

this

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topic, I believe that the former viewpoint is more significant than the latter as I will explain. First of all, incorporating some new

cultures

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can lead a country to

further

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development.

According to

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some literature preserved in the Tokyo Museum, more than 70% of Japanese restaurants suffered from the astronomical deficit

due to

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the limited variations in their menus.

However

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, by introducing a wide variety of eccentric foods

such

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as Chinese

food

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and Italian

food

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, more than 90% of the national

food

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industries, including restaurants and factories, experienced a significant increase in sales figures, resulting in their economic growth.

However

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, in my opinion,

this

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can be solved by raising people’s awareness of the importance of domestic

food

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. Turning to the importance of cultural preservation,

culture

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is rooted in our life ranging from

food

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and clothes to languages and technology. In terms of languages, in

this

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world, there are an increasing number of languages that are becoming extinct.

This

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is attributed to the incorporation of new

cultures

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into their own

cultures

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For instance

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, in Hong Kong, the native language spoken by Hong Kong residents is Cantonese.

However

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due to

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the progress of globalization around the world, the language is on the verge of replacement. Actually, more and more people in Hong Kong nowadays use English

instead

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of Cantonese.

That is

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to say, a part of their

culture

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might be in danger in the near future. As human beings, our original

culture

Use synonyms

is more valuable than new

cultures

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for the sake of well-being. In conclusion, it is argued that we should protect our original

cultures

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before anything else. In my opinion, I believe that we should focus more on preserving our own

culture

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than on incorporating new ones into ours because each

culture

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has a root of its own

culture

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, where people feel necessary to live.

ryoji779Mon May 05 2025

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Task Achievement

Your introduction clearly outlines the topic and presents your opinion; however, consider rephrasing 'the former viewpoint is more significant than the latter' for clarity. Maybe mention how both viewpoints have merit before leaning towards your stance.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your argument structure is generally logical, but try to ensure each paragraph has a clearer central idea. For instance, the transition between the economic impact of new cuisines and the cultural elements could be smoother.

Task Achievement

While you provide some relevant examples, make sure that each example specifically supports the argument you are making in that paragraph. Providing an example of domestic food awareness would also strengthen your argument.

Positive Highlight

Your use of specific examples, like the impact of new cuisines on Japanese restaurants, adds depth to your arguments and demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.

Positive Highlight

You present a balanced view by acknowledging both sides of the argument before concluding with your opinion, which is a strong aspect of your essay.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

352 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

globalization
traditional customs
cultural heritage
personal identity
community identity
folk traditions
cultural roots
cultural preservation
societal norms
modern influences
cultural evolution
intergenerational transmission
cultural significance
relevance of traditions
identity formation

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Some believe that people today have no interest in maintaining the traditional culture of their country or region. Others believe that it is still important to people that we preserve a traditional way of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Today more and more people want things instantly. Why is this? Is it positive or negative development.

Traffic jam brings a lot of problems to our life. What are the problems? What are the solution?

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

People who have original ideas are of much greater value to society than those who are simply able to copy the ideas of others well. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people feel that governments should take a large proportion of people's salaries to pay for necessary public services such as roads and schools. Others feel that high taxes are a bad thing. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.