Caring for children is very important for our society. Therefore all mothers and fathers should take a child care training course. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is often argued that
parents
ought to take a training course which specialises in child care because caring for
children
is a top priority feature in most societies. I strongly agree with
this
statement,
thus
the training provides a basic idea of child
development
and trains
parents
for emergency situations.
This
essay will explore how these points justify my opinion. There are several benefits of having
childcare
training.
Firstly
,
parents
would know about the milestones of
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
development
. They will have a sound
knowledge
about the changes in
children
’s growth and they will not panic about these changes because they have prior
knowledge
.
For instance
,
parents
learn what will happen in six months of a child’s
development
and they can prepare for it.
Secondly
, these training sessions facilitate other
parents
to meet and share their thoughts and experiences. Another positive aspect of training is
parents
are prepared for emergencies.
For instance
, they will have
knowledge
about how to prevent choking or first aid techniques if the
children
are injured. In
childcare
training sessions,
parents
can practically engage with these training techniques which gives them to handle these emergencies in a confident way. If the
parents
do not have prior
knowledge
,
children
may face detrimental consequences. As an example, a survey conducted by the Ministry of Health Sri Lanka has revealed that 56% of new
parents
do not have sound
knowledge
about first aid and CPR techniques.
Therefore
, all
parents
should attend the
childcare
training programs. In conclusion, protecting
children
is an utmost priority of our society and it can be done
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
proper
childcare
training. These trainings prepare new
parents
for challenging situations and
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
can acquire
knowledge
about child’s
development
.
Submitted by surangaprasad90 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to enhance the logical flow between ideas. While your essay is organized, connecting the paragraphs more seamlessly with transitional phrases can improve coherence.
task achievement
Consider adding more varied examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments. This will provide additional support and clarity to your main points.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively summarize your viewpoint.
task achievement
The essay addresses all parts of the task, providing relevant points about the benefits of childcare training for parents.
task achievement
The examples used, such as the survey from Sri Lanka, are relevant and help illustrate your points.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Child development
  • Parenting skills
  • Training course
  • Universal benefits
  • Work-life balance
  • Personal experience
  • Instinct
  • Stable family units
  • Child neglect
  • Cultural differences
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