Caring for children is very important for our society. Therefore all mothers and fathers should take a child care training course. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is often argued that
parents
ought to take a training course which specialises in child care because caring for children
is a top priority feature in most societies. I strongly agree with this
statement, thus
the training provides a basic idea of child development
and trains parents
for emergency situations. This
essay will explore how these points justify my opinion.
There are several benefits of having childcare
training. Firstly
, parents
would know about the milestones of children
Change noun form
children's
development
. They will have a sound knowledge
about the changes in children
’s growth and they will not panic about these changes because they have prior knowledge
. For instance
, parents
learn what will happen in six months of a child’s development
and they can prepare for it. Secondly
, these training sessions facilitate other parents
to meet and share their thoughts and experiences.
Another positive aspect of training is parents
are prepared for emergencies. For instance
, they will have knowledge
about how to prevent choking or first aid techniques if the children
are injured. In childcare
training sessions, parents
can practically engage with these training techniques which gives them to handle these emergencies in a confident way. If the parents
do not have prior knowledge
, children
may face detrimental consequences. As an example, a survey conducted by the Ministry of Health Sri Lanka has revealed that 56% of new parents
do not have sound knowledge
about first aid and CPR techniques. Therefore
, all parents
should attend the childcare
training programs.
In conclusion, protecting children
is an utmost priority of our society and it can be done by
proper Change preposition
through
childcare
training. These trainings prepare new parents
for challenging situations and the
can acquire Correct your spelling
they
knowledge
about child’s development
.Submitted by surangaprasad90 on
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coherence cohesion
Try to enhance the logical flow between ideas. While your essay is organized, connecting the paragraphs more seamlessly with transitional phrases can improve coherence.
task achievement
Consider adding more varied examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments. This will provide additional support and clarity to your main points.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively summarize your viewpoint.
task achievement
The essay addresses all parts of the task, providing relevant points about the benefits of childcare training for parents.
task achievement
The examples used, such as the survey from Sri Lanka, are relevant and help illustrate your points.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite