Many things that used to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines. Does this development bring more advantages or disadvantages?

Over recent decades, household

chores

Use synonyms

were once carried out manually

have

Correct word choice

but have

show examples

been significantly done with the help of

machines

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

shift has transformed the way people manage their homes, bringing both benefits and potential downsides. In my opinion, the advantages of using home

appliances

Use synonyms

far outweigh the disadvantages. One of the main benefits of home

appliances

Use synonyms

is the efficiency they provide. Individuals are able to handle several

chores

Use synonyms

at once, which results in less time and energy being required.

For instance

Linking Words

, clothes and floors may be cleaned by a washing machine and a robotic vacuum cleaner

while

Linking Words

meals are being prepared simultaneously, allowing all

chores

Use synonyms

to be finished more quickly and leaving more time for leisure.

Moreover

Linking Words

, having

machines

Use synonyms

for household

chores

Use synonyms

enables individuals to focus on

busy

Correct pronoun usage

their busy

show examples

work without neglecting house cleaning.

As a result

Linking Words

, they return to a comfortable home after a stressful day at work.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the overreliance on domestic

appliances

Use synonyms

can lead to greater dependency on technology. When these devices break down, many people may struggle to complete basic

chores

Use synonyms

, as they have lost the skills to do them manually.

In addition

Linking Words

, frequent use of

such

Linking Words

appliances

Use synonyms

increases electricity consumption and can be costly to maintain. To exemplify, installing a water heater and a clothes dryer can result in electricity bills about 20% higher than those of households without these

machines

Use synonyms

. In

such

Linking Words

cases, these

appliances

Use synonyms

are unaffordable for low-income households. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

carrying out

chores

Use synonyms

with

machines

Use synonyms

poses certain drawbacks related to dependency and potential costs,

its

Fix the agreement mistake

their

show examples

benefits in terms of increased convenience and efficiency are more significant.

nineband9s

Dec 16, 2024

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planning

Plan your essay before writing. Tell the reader what you will say and stick to that plan.

coherence

Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph. Keep one main idea per paragraph.

evidence

Give a specific example or data for each point to make your view stronger.

grammar

Check for small grammar errors and word choice; simple, clear language works best.

language

Mix simple sentence with a few longer ones to show range.

content

Clear view and a balanced discussion of pros and cons.

coherence

Good use of linking words to show flow.

organization

Structure follows the IELTS format with an intro, body, and conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Automation
Efficiency
Manual labor
Displacement
Homemaking skills
Technological advancements
Self-sufficiency
Resource depletion
Energy efficiency
Social dynamics
Operational understanding

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Many things that used to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines. Does this development bring more advantages or disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some parents buy their children who they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have on children as they get older?

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

Some people think that the parents of children who commit crime should also receive a punishment. Do you agree or disagree?

In modern times, children are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?